


a complete discovery

by weavirtue



Series: the sexual experiment of captain swan [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Fluff, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Smut, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Smut-Fluff, Captain Swan - Freeform, Car Sex, Drunk Sex, F/M, First Love, First Time, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Experimentation, Shower Sex, Students, True Love, Two-Handed Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, Young Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Young Emma Swan, Young Emma, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-23 04:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weavirtue/pseuds/weavirtue
Summary: Emma and Killian have been together forever, and neither one of them has ever thought about doing anything more than hug and kiss that is until Mary-Margaret ask Emma an interesting question. Rated M for a reason *wink wink* i don't own the characters.





	1. the question

Emma was sitting at the table in the kitchen, eating breakfast while Killian was still sleeping in her room, her bed. People would think that her parents were crazy to let them sleep together when they were only 17, but Emma and Killian had never done anything more than hug and peck each others on the lips. They never talked about it, and frankly, Emma never thought about that. She was eating her bowl of cereal as always when she felt hands on her shoulder, she looked up and saw Killian smiling down at her. She smiled back and laced her fingers with his. He bent down and kissed her forehead.

\- Good morning.

\- Hey, sleepyhead.

He sat next to her, and start eating the pancakes Mary-Margaret had made earlier. They were eating in content silence, not bothering to fill in. They’ve known each other forever, neighbours, then friends until Tink made a comment about how they were already acting like a couple. Holding hands, hugging, sharing secrets, talking all the time, meeting each other family. The only thing they weren’t doing was kissing, and now they did, well barely. She finished her breakfast before him, and let her head fall on his shoulder. She smiled as his arm automatically came around her, hugging her closer. She was weirdly quiet even for her. Killian knew that but he didn’t want to bother or push her. He turned his head and kissed her forehead again, squeezing her arm.

- I love you.

She smiled at him, humming in response because she wasn’t open with words like he was but it didn't bother him, because he knew her as much as he knew himself. She looked up when he put his forks on his plate, looking at his profile, a small smile on her lips.

\- Do you remember the first time we kissed?

\- You mean, do I remember how you literally crashed into my chest after you fell in the stairs ? Or the first kiss we shared a kiss while playing truth or dare with all of our friends ?

She could see the mischief and laugh in his eyes while he was watching her and she laughed, nudging him.

\- No, Silly. I was talking about our real kiss. You know ? The one in my room after watching all the Harry Potter’s movies? How you looked at me, and just went for it.

He hummed just before closing his lips on hers, exactly how it happened all these years ago. She could feel his tongue licking her upper lips while she moaned slightly. They’ve never done more than kissing. Sometimes, when she saw their friends kissing or “making out” as they called it, She could feel herself blush. She never thought about any of that, like never. It’s not like Killian wasn’t attractive or anything but she did not want to change anything in their relationship. It seems like Killian didn’t want her that way or he would have tried something, right?

\- Of course, I remember. I was so scared of your reaction at this time, and now I feel so stupid because look where we are.

She giggled and hide her face in his chest, looping her arms around his torso. She looked up after some times and pressed her forehead to his, smiling.

\- Even I was scared of my reaction, after what Tink said I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about us so I talked to Mom and I didn’t know how to handle any of this but I wanted to be with you.

Killian pressed a soft kiss on the tip of his nose, laughing quietly. Emma could feel his fingers, playing with her hair but that was not a surprise since he was always playing with it as if his hand was glued to it.

* * *

Killian had just left the kitchen when Mary-Margaret entered the room, smiling at her daughter. She came and kissed the top of her head, squeezing her shoulder.

\- Do you have everything for this weekend ?

Emma rolled her eyes but smiled anyway because that was how her mom was. She was a worrier.

\- Mom, you guys are the ones leaving the house. Killian and I are just hanging at home, we’ve done it before.

Her mom laughed at the sarcastic response. She took the mug she made herself before seating in front of her daughter. She took a deep breathe and hoped that all of that wouldn’t break the relationship with Emma.

\- As much as I like to know you guys are ready, I wasn’t talking about that…I have no idea how to engage in this discussion but I, kind of, feel like I have to since you never talked to me about it.

Mary-Margaret could almost see how Emma’s brain was trying to understand which way the discussion was going to go. She frowned and looked up to her mom, a questioning glance. Emma was completely lost. She didn't understand what her mother was talking about. All she wanted was for her mother to spill it out because she hated when people weren’t direct.

\- Come on, mom.

Mary-Margaret smiled and looked down, fidgeting with her rings. She had no idea how to speak about that to her daughter. Not that she didn't trust her to make the right decision and all of that, but she didn’t understand why.

\- Mmh.. how are things with Killian ? Intimately…

Emma just stared at her mom. She didn't know how to respond because clearly the only intimacy they shared was sleeping in the same bed or the only time they could see each other body was at the beach. She was clearly blushing if the heat in her cheeks was any indication but she wasn’t embarrassed or at least she didn’t think she was. They didn't do anything wrong.

\- What do you mean, mom? You know everything that’s going on between Killian and I.

\- Emma, don’t get me wrong but haven’t you ever done something sexual with Killian ?

She didn’t want to sounds so shocked but she was. How could two teenagers didn't even tried anything? She couldn’t understand. She really wanted to hear what Emma has to say about it.

\- Mmh no, Mom, we didn’t. You know I tell you everything. Is it wrong? Should we do stuffs?

Mary-Margaret smiled at her daughter and shook her head. Her beautiful daughter was such an innocent person, always thinking of the worst.

\- You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I was just wondering, because that’s what teenagers do. They tried new things with their partners. But it’s totally fine if you don’t want to do anything.

Mary-Margaret could see how Emma was starting to panic and that she needed space and time by herself. She got up, squeezed her hand and left the room, leaving Emma alone to deal with her thoughts and what she wanted to do with them. Emma had no idea how to process what her mom just told her. Yes, she and Killian have been together forever but never had she thought about actually doing what her mom talked about. She had imagined some of them, and how she find him attractive but she didn’t know it was an actual thing to do that only for pleasure. She needed to deal with that information the way she always did, talking about it with Killian. He always understood her on a deeper level and she wasn’t scared with him.

* * *

 - Killian.. ? Emma asked, waiting for him to look up and see her before continuing. She was clearly uncomfortable, so he turned to her and took her hand, squeezing lightly.

\- Why haven’t we done anything more than kiss and hug ? I mean.. It’s not like I want to or anything. I don’t want us to change but I talked to Mom, well she talked to me but whatever. Why haven’t we had sex or anything close to that ? I just want to know if this is me ? don’t you find me beautiful ?

Killian was looking at her and after some time, he let go of her hand. He could see the exact moment where Emma started to close herself and he just pulled her on his laps, holding her against him. He gave her time. Her breathing under control again, he took hold of her face and look straight into her eyes.

\- Love, deep breathe first, and let’s talk about this, together.

He pressed his forehead against hers and fell onto the bed with her still on his lap. He let his hands fall in her hair. He knew what he wanted to say but how? How could he say that he had wanted her since the first day but was to scared and then the the fear turned into shyness, because how could he say that he wanted to try but had no idea how to do it?

\- What do you say love, let’s try, together.


	2. the list

Emma was still chocked about Killian agreeing to her proposition but after all, he's always tried to make her happy. He didn't even think about it, just said that they should try together. She let him hug her even if she couldn't stop thinking about how everything was going to change. She wasn't scared of doing something with him but what if they weren't good and it broke their relationship? She had no idea how she was supposed to do any of that, but if Killian wanted to do it, then she would.

She just needed to read some articles and books about it? That's how she could get the best answers.. She would talk about it with her mom, but she was a bit too scared about asking her that. So books would be her best option.

She let herself fell completely against Killian and pressed her lips against his, smiling. She deepened the kiss slightly, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Killian cut off the kiss, pressing his forehead against hers, and looked at her.

\- I love you.

\- I love you too, Swan. You know we don't have to do anything if you don't want to.

Emma nodded against him and smiled more. He would always put her first, just like that. But this time she would do something for him, for them. Killian kissed Emma again but he could feel her not being into it, not that she was usually because there was nothing to be into.. but he let himself go a bit more into the kiss, and Emma was still not a 100% with him. He knew it was a big change for her, and he was starting to regret suggesting doing anything. If it meant he could keep the love of his life with him.

\- Emma.. Love?

He felt her tensed up at his question and he sighed. He didn't want her to be scared, he didn't want her to be tensed about it. He wanted her to be comfortable with him and what they were about to do. He looked at her some more and decided he needed to help her.

Would it help if we asked Tink? or Ruby? or your mom about it? Do you want to read some articles about it? Do you want me to read stuffs too? I get that, neither of us have done anything but we could read about it, and try it together? You know I would never do anything you don't want me to do.

As always with them, they were in sync yet again. She smiled and touched his cheek with the tip of her fingers. She pressed a kiss to his nose and nodded once. Accepting his offer.

* * *

 

They both chose some articles to read, Emma even texted Ruby about it. She blushed bright red writing that text but it was necessary. She needed to know some stuffs about her own body before giving it to her boyfriend. She wasn't afraid of the act itself but girls needed some advice of what to except and what to do.

After the 20 minutes wait, Ruby arrived at Emma's house and Killian kept reading in her (their?) room. He didn't want to make Emma feel bad about asking all of her questions, that why he kept away and spend time by himself trying to remember if Liam told him anything regarding sex.

* * *

 

Ruby just came in and hugged Emma as soon as she saw her friend. She was beyond excited about the text, because she was starting to get really worried about it but she didn't want to push her friends either. As soon as she saw Emma's face though, she stopped her exciting rambling that was ready to come out of her mouth. She needed to be serious and really help.

\- Oh, Emma. It's going to be ok. Ask me anything, girl.

Emma smiled and sit on the couch, she appreciated how Ruby didn't act any different after learning the news, because it was The news. She was playing with her fingers and she couldn't make herself look at the girl sitting next to her. She had no idea what to ask or talk about…

\- Mmh.. I don't know.. Honestly Ruby, I never thought about any of that until my mom asked me about it. I mean, I know people do stuffs but I never really realised it was for pleasure too.. And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.. How it's supposed to happen.

Ruby just laughed and looked at Emma, the way she was sitting with her knees against her chest, arms around her legs and chin tucked into her knees like she was preparing herself for the worst thing ever.

\- Girl, stop acting like you're going to die. you might die of happiness, pleasure or love but you will not die for real.

She took Emma's hand and looked at her until Emma didn't have a choice but smile and sit correctly again. She turned a bit to face her best friend.

\- Okay, so Emma, all you need to know is that.. it's your body and YOU decide what you want to do. Even if you love Killian with everything that you are. it is your choice not his. ok?

Ruby didn't wait for an answer before continuing her speech about the sensitive subject.

\- There is no real rules about sex or everything related to couple. You do what feels good. It will be weird at first, because you never even thought about that and probably didn't even feel his erection.

She saw Emma blushed deeply at this term and Ruby couldn't help but laugh out loud and Emma immediately followed because she did feel it one morning and she got scared, kinda.

\- But I don't really know what to tell you, just go slow and talk to each others. Tell each others how it feels, what you want and you should probably write down what you wanna try. But that should come later into your sexual adventure.

Emma looked at her like she was some alien but then she thought about it and realised it was a good idea. They could always do research on the particular thing they were about to try, but she didn't want it to be planned either. That's something she'll have to talk to with Killian. She nodded and before Ruby could keep giving her advice, she got up and went to look for her diary and pen. She came back and got ready to write down what Ruby would told her to write.

\- Okay, let's do that list Ruby.

Ruby smiled at Emma, seeing how she was getting more confident about the idea of having sexual intercourse with her boyfriend of forever. She thought to herself for a minute before looking at Emma. She needed to be ready to explain any act she would tell Emma without blushing or rambling. She needed to be confident in it for Emma.

\- Let's start the list with the simple making out. You just lie down and kiss and touch each other. you don't have to get naked or anything but simply just enjoy each other body.

Emma nodded before drawing a bullet and writing down "making out" in her cursive handwriting. When she was finished, she looked at Ruby, waiting.

\- mmh. you can add dry humping and fingering.

Emma wrote them down but looked at Ruby with a questioning look.

\- What's that, Rubs? I mean i get the fingering part, I think but what's dry humping?

\- It's basically having sex fully clothed. You just move back and forth, touching your core against his erection.

Emma blushed and nodded before looking up again and waiting for Ruby to continue.

\- Okay.. I think after that, you should be ready to try something a bit more intimate. You know what's oral sex, right?

Emma nodded quickly and was about to write it down when Ruby stopped her and smiled.

\- Then add Cunnilingus and Blow job.

Emma laughed at the specifics but did as she was told and then she realised by herself that the last step was having actual sex. She wrote it down and showed her diary to Ruby to be sure she wrote down everything. Ruby smiled and looked at Emma.

\- Always remember, that it's your body and you have the last word in these situation. If Killian wants to try something you don't feel comfortable doing, just say no.

\- I understand Rubs, thanks for coming and you know… all of that.

Emma leaned into her friend and hugged her tight, letting her know without words how much it meant for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you


	3. the making out

As soon as Ruby left the house, Emma ran up the stairs and into her room. She wanted to share everything with her boyfriend but when she reached her room, she stopped. Killian was on her bed, looking quite lost, even she could see it. He was looking at the screen of his computer while bitting his bottom lip.

He didn't look at her when she pushed the door wide open, and Emma got worried for a minute before blushing when she realised what was happening in front of her. She was fascinated by what she was seeing. Killian was aroused, completely lost into what he was seeing. He was licking and bitting his lips. Emma could feel her body reacting to that sight, and she realised that her body had had some similar reaction before, but never so strongly.

She walked up to Killian and sit down next to him. She didn't look at the screen, just passed her hand in his hair before tugging to get his attention. Killian jumped away, blushed and closed his computer before he even looked at her. She giggled quietly before shushing him with a simple peck when he tried to explain.

\- It's okay, babe. We said we were doing research, that's what you were doing. Don't get shy all of the sudden because i walked in on you. You can do anything you want.

Killian closed his eyes and smiled at her, before kissing her again. She let him do it, feeling a lot more confident in her actions now that she had talked with Ruby. After some time, she broke the kiss and sit crossed legged in front of Killian, waiting for him to look at her again.

\- So… I talked to Ruby, and she suggested we should have a list of things we should try.. like a step-by-step list.

Emma could feel herself blushing and hugged her diary against her chest tighter. She wasn't afraid, she was just shy. They never ever talked about anything like that but there was a first for everything, right?

\- And so, we wrote down basic stuffs, she thought were important for us to do before actually having sex.

While she was talking, she let the diary slipped from her hands and in front of him on the bed, smiling shyly. Killian nodded silently and took it. He opened it and looked at the list. Emma could see all kind of emotions flashing on his face, shock, surprise, interest, shyness, but she also could see love in there. She could tell when he didn't have an clear idea of what was written, after all he never did anything either. On the page, you could read the following words:

> Making out
> 
> Dry Humping (sex being clothed)
> 
> Fingering
> 
> Cunninlingus
> 
> Blow job
> 
> First time (it might hurt a little bit)

Emma gave him the pen, waiting for him to take it before telling him he could add anything he wanted, and they could try it, together. She knew deep down that Killian was it for her, the love of her life, so all they wanted to try, they could. She would never give her body to anyone else but him. She couldn't trust anyone that much for that.

Killian looked at the diary in his hand and smiled before writing down the following sentence before showing her:

> talk about protection
> 
> get ourselves tested

Emma smiled to herself, and tugged on his hand and kissed him. Of course, Killian would think about that kind of things. He kissed her like he never let himself do before and let the diary fell on the floor next to the bed. All he ever wanted was for her to feel good, and if he could help with that, then so be it. Not that it would be hard. He pulled her on his lap before lying down, keeping her on his lap. Emma giggled at the move, and let herself get comfortable against him, before sliding to the side, keeping the kiss going.

Now that she accepted the fact that it was something they could do, her mom basically begging her if something was wrong because her teenage girl has never have sex before and her best friend was more excited about Emma getting laid that herself. She let herself feel everything, letting Killian know how much she enjoyed being kissed like that with small moans and whimpers.

She had no idea what they were doing, but she let her instinct guide her. Her hands in his hair and the other on his chest. But all she could think about was Killian.

_His Lips_

_His heavy breathing_

_His hands on her_

_His body against hers_

_His sweetness_

Emma took his chin between her fingers and brushed her lips against his, smiling.

\- I love you, babe.

Before Killian could respond, Emma pressed a firm kiss on his lips, her hands touching his shoulders and arms.

\- I love you too.

Killian pushed Emma on her back, smiling tenderly while tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. He wanted to be able to see her face and every emotions playing on it. He wanted to be able to read her, as always and anticipate her needs.

He started kissing her lips for quite some time, letting his tongue enter the kiss, joining its twin. Emma could feel everything change around her, in every little noises and touches that Killian was making.

She felt his leg sliding in between her and she let him do as he pleased. It looked like he knew what he was doing, and Emma was simply happy to follow his lead. The sensations she was getting when his lips finally touched the skin of her neck was intoxicating, as if she was already addicted to it, her head fell back against her pillow, giving him more space to kiss her.

She placed her hand on his head, playing with his hair, silently asking for more. She could feel his smile against her skin, and suddenly all she could feel was his warm tongue running on the side of her neck, reaching the lobe of her ear, he pressed his teeth on it before sucking on it. Emma keened at the sensation, pushing her body closer to his.

Her hands were moving on their own, tugging on his hair, sliding on his back, grabbing his ass and pulling him against her, moaning against his temple. She let one of her hand move under his shirt, and touched his back. Finally, able to touch what she had been looking at for the past few week, thanks to the warmer weather.

She got the urge to feel his skin on hers. She wanted to feel it, right now. She never in her life felt more sure about anything. She just wanted, needed. Emma bite his lip before breaking the kiss, she tugged on the shirt she was wearing, his shirt and smiled at Killian's face when he saw that she wasn't wearing anything under it.

He knew that, logically. She never slept with a bra on, but seeing it was something else entirely. He couldn't stop staring at her perfect breasts. He wanted to touch them, kiss them, play with them. He looked up at her and saw her skin flushing under his gaze, and he smiled at her before tugging his shirt off as well, making them even.

Killian looked at her, waiting on her. He got surprised when Emma took his hand and place it on her boob, sighing at the touch. She bite her lips, watching his hand move on her boob, letting the other join its twin. She let her head fell on his shoulder, caressing his back lightly.

\- is that good?

She nodded against him, before deciding that she needed to do something too. She turned her face and kissed the skin she could get to, his neck. He let her lips dance on his skin, sucking softly, when she heard his groan, she put her hand on his neck, pulling him against her and sucked harder.

She was clearly enjoying herself if the noises were anything to go by. Killian was playing with the skin around her nipple, before ducking his head and running his tongue in the valley between her boobs, he felt her back arched and smiled on her skin. He was already addicted to her reactions. Emma grabbed his hair once again, and pulled him closer to where she needed him. He finally closed his lips around her nipple and she keened louder than ever. Killian backed up and looked at her, quite afraid he did something wrong.

\- Emma..?

\- It's.. It's ok, babe.

Emma took a deep breathe and touched his cheek and smiled brightly. She wasn't even feeling shy for being half naked in front of him. She giggled when she saw the hickey on his neck. She never thought she would ever do that to her boyfriend, and seeing the red-purple-ish mark on his skin made her fell giddy and happy.

\- Don't stop..?

Killian nodded and returned to what he was doing not even minutes ago. Emma was still running her hands on his body, scratching his skin when he was doing something she really liked. Emma was losing herself into the sensation when Emma's phone got a text notification. She jumped out of Killian's arms to reached it. She knew it was only a text, and most likely to be her mom letting her know they arrived. But it was also an excuse to get her thoughts under a control. As much as she was enjoying herself, it was scary. She needed time to think, but she always wanted to cuddle her boyfriend.

After responding to her mom, she walked back to her bed, lying down next to Killian.

\- Sorry..

She couldn't look at him, she couldn't think about anything. She just wanted to be in his arms. Killian hugged her and smiled, shaking his head softly. He kissed her forehead, letting his hand run on her back, massaging her.

\- So… Does that mean we can already checked the first item?

Emma laughed out loud, slapping his chest but she find herself nodding anyway. She hide her blush in his neck and kissed the skin there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you.


	4. dry humping

Emma and Killian were enjoying the rest of their weekend by themselves by watching movies, taking walks around the city and eating junk food.

They were lying on the couch and Emma couldn't stop herself, she had to touched him. She was currently sitting next to him, her head on his shoulder, arm around his waist, finger caressing the skin just below his shirt, giggling every time he flinched away from her fingers. They were watching the Princess Bride, her favourite movie and all Emma could focus on was Killian. She wanted him, but she was scared of starting anything again, even more so after she flew away as soon as her phone rang yesterday.

She also wanted to talk to her mom about it. She needed her mom's advice. Killian was playing with her hair again, and she felt herself relaxing on him, smiling. She looked up at his profile and kissed the sensitive skin of his neck, just above the deep purple hickey, giggle softly. He had another mark, well multiple and she might have some of her own. Not that they tried new things, but they spend long hours just enjoying each others company.

She was about to lean in and kiss a line on his neck when the door opened to let her parents in. They didn't even moved, her parents were used to see them hugging each others, well they never found them with her basically lying on top of him, her hand under his shirt and their exact same love bites.

\- Good afternoon, Kiddos.

Emma laughed at his dad's antic. She lifted her head and smiled at them, before focusing her attention on the movie. Mary-Margaret walked up to them, and kissed their forehead as always. Emma heard the gasp her mom let out when she saw the hickeys on Killian's neck, and Killian was already blushing, scratching behind his ear.

Emma looked at her mom, begging her not to say anything yet. She would talk to her, but she wanted to do it under her conditions. She smiled when Mary-Margaret nodded at her daughter.

Killian was slightly more tensed since her parents got home, but it was also a new thing for them to be covered in bruises. She started moving her fingers on his skin, kissing his jaw, whispering her love for him. She felt him relaxing under her, and she smiled. She liked being able to do that for him, to be able to calm and reassure him.

They've always been close, since they were little kids and Killian just arrived from England. Emma ran up to him, right after they arrived at their new home and asked if he wanted to play with her. Since that moment, Killian and Emma had been inseparable. The logical next step for them was dating, and without their friends, they would have probably never took that huge step.

She let herself get lost into the movie playing in front of her, and her thoughts. She wanted to snuggle into Killian's arms more, but she couldn't.. her parents were back.

* * *

 

Mary Margaret was waiting on her daughter. She was sitting down on the back porch of their house with two hot chocolate with cinnamon. She knew her daughter was on her way here, after reassuring a slightly terrified Killian, assuming his head when they walked in earlier. She was chuckling to herself when she heard some quiet step, that she would always recognise getting closer to her. She lifted her head and Emma was there, looking in front of her before she sat down and smiled at her mom.

⠀- Hey..

She didn't really know how to start that conversation, but she also couldn't wait. Her mother and her have always been close, like really close. For some longs years, Emma wasn't really good at making friends, so it was only her, her parents and Killian. That's why her mom was always one of the first one to know everything about her life. She moved a bit closer before, putting her head on her mom's shoulder, smiling when an arm came around her, pulling her closer.

⠀ - Sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything.

Emma nodded slowly and drank some of he hot cocoa, smiling as soon as she tasted cinnamon. She liked the fact that her mother and her were sharing that particular taste habit. It made her feel closer to her. She was trying to organise her thoughts when her mother just went for it.

⠀- Emma, I'm not blind, neither is your dad. We both saw the hickeys Killian and you were harbouring but it's okay. we are both completely ok with what's happening between the two of you. I didn't ask that question to force you into anything. If you don't want to do anything, then don't. It's your own choice, not mine, not Killian's, just yours.

Emma was sniffling at the end of her Mary Margaret's speech, not that it was an emotional one but it had been a while since they had an honest conversation. She'd missed her mom more than she was able to tell with words, so she just ended up hugging her fiercely, being careful of the hot beverages they were still holding.

⠀- Thanks, Mom. I know we didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't expecting it to be so… Intense? I guess that's the word I'd go for but I don't really know. All I know for sure, is that I cannot stop thinking about it, and as much as it scares me to death, it's Killian, and he would never hurt me on purpose. We all know that. I just never realised it would be that intense and strong, and amazing.

She felt her mom tense slightly at the last word she had pronounced and she frowned before pulling away to look at her.

⠀- Mom?

⠀- No! It's okay. I just was kind of shocked you were talking that way of love making, I guess. I wasn't expecting you would be so quick.

Emma laughed whole heartedly before looking at her mother, shaking her head.

Mom, we didn't.. I mean we did do stuff, but like barely stuffs. I can't even call them stuffs to be completely honest, but we just made out, I guess that's the word Ruby referred to it. I called her on Saturday and asked some questions, and she explained as well as she could without making me freak out about it. So we made a list.

While she was talking and explaining herself, Emma took the diary she was holding and gave it to her mom, where the page was still marked in the corner. She was shy and didn't know what to do with herself while her mom looked at the list that was now looking like:

> ⠀⠀⠀✓ Making out
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀Dry Humping (sex being clothed)
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀Fingering
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀Cunninlingus
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀Blow job
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀First time (it might hurt a little bit)
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀talk about protection
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀get ourselves tested

Mary-Margaret laughed when she arrived at the two last items, recognising the handwriting as Killian's, and she smiled fondly at his thoughtfulness. Of course, he would think of that, because David himself had been the one to taught him to always be safe, no matter what. And that kid had to act as an adult for most of his life anyway. He was just doing what was right and safe for the both of them, and MM got a strong feeling that it was because of her and David, because they had taught him that and she was so proud of him. She needed to have a talk with him, really really soon.

⠀- As I said, Em, you can do what you want, as soon as you are safe and comfortable doing so. I won't be mad or upset because, you know, my little girl, is having sex with her boyfriend of what, 15 years now?

Emma once again laughed and fell down on her mom.

⠀- You're impossible, Mom. You know, Killian and I have been together for only 7 years, without us knowing and it's only been like 4 years since Tink called us on it.

⠀- Well, it's still the same. I just want you to be happy, and I know for a fact that you are, I see it everyday. I want Killian to be happy, and he couldn't be more that he is now, well maybe if his brother was home, he could but that's not the topic of tonight. Stay safe and be happy.

Emma sensed there was something her mother wasn't telling her just yet, and normally she would have never pushed but she wanted to know.

⠀- But..?

⠀- Don't do that when we're around, or you know be discreet?

Emma blushed deeply before nodding, and smiling at her mom. She hugged the woman she had always idolised before kissing her cheek.

⠀- Thanks, Mom. I love you.

⠀- Love you too, Emma.

* * *

 

Emma and Killian were fairly certain, they would never find time ever to keep on going with their list of milestones they were supposed to try together. Not that they were new addicted to sex or whatever, but once you tried something good, you tend to want it again, right? Emma was getting frustrated of the non-existent time she was spending with her boyfriend because that loving idiot decided to go help at the library to earn some money. She was so proud of him, but she was missing him. Also, did you know that her parents were out again for the night? Which meant they would have had the whole house for themselves.

So, yes, Emma Swan, was frustrated over everything. She wanted, no scratch that, she needed to be with her boyfriend. That's basically how she ended up in front of the library, at his usually lunch break. She had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she needed to see him, to enjoy some time with him. Since they've been together, not once are they been this long without seeing each other. And she wasn't counting the sleeping hours, because, of course, Killian was sleeping at her place. He's basically been living with the Swan since his Brother enrolled for the Navy. She wasn't about to complain about that, though.

But they hadn't had any time to actually talk to each other since their first night at trying. She had talked with her mother, asking tons of questions in regards of what was about to happen between the two teenagers. She wanted to be safe, and for Killian to be safe too. Her mom had been exactly as she thought she would be. Always, trying to reassure her and calm her. A smiled graced Emma's lips at the memory. She was about to enter the building when Killian rushed out, looking quite out of place and time. She immediately placed her hands on his cheeks, turning his face towards hers.

⠀- Babe?

She had a whole scheme, getting in the building, finding Belle French and ask her about Killian's whereabouts. And ask for a tiny bit of a favor to get the rest of the day off for her boyfriend but as soon as she set her gaze on Killian, everything fell off. She looked at him and tried to smile, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs. She was getting more confident in her actions. She liked that about their current situation. Emma Swan wasn't shy but she was nowhere ready to claim her love physically in the middle of the street, that is until now.

She pushed on her toes and kissed him slowly, letting her lips move against his, she kept one of her hands on his cheek, guiding his lips to hers as she wanted them, while the other was sliding around his neck, holding him closer to her. She let her body tucked alongside his, trying to calm and reassure him.

She felt his shoulders sag during the kiss, and she smiled, breaking the kiss a tiny bit before she got her face expression under control again and start kissing him again. She thought she had control over her impulse but it seems like she didn't even know herself. She tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck and smiled when he groaned quietly. She learned that during one of the small make-out sessions, they tried to get not without difficulty.

Those sessions were small and long apart. She needed the real thing. She wanted to spend an entire afternoon kissing him and touching him. Maybe she could even try to get him to check off the second items of their list. God, just thinking about it was almost enough to make her forget Killian's lost and scared look when her barged outside of the building.

She forced herself to break the kiss a second time and let gravity pull her down at the right height again. She didn't stop playing with his hair, and her hand on his cheek didn't move. She took the time to really look at him, for what seems like to be the first time in a while. Dark circles under his so oh-blue eyes and his smile, quite cute, okay completely amazing, didn't reach his eyes. He was forcing himself to appear ok for her sack and as much as she loved him for that, she wanted her honest boyfriend back.

⠀- Hey.. Talk to me.

He shook his head and smiled a tiny bit more and she smiled in return. She needed to calm him first if she wanted to have a real conversation with that stubborn man. She knew it wasn't something bad, or dangerous or anything like that. She knew he would have told her otherwise. He was mostly hiding stuffs when he was trying to surprise her or because he didn't want to push her. Always with the protective boyfriend act.

He finally reacted and bent down to kiss her forehead, as it was his usual was of greeting her and she smiled at the routine that was still here, even after all these new things. She never, ever wanted to lose this, or him for that matter. He led the way to the bench in the alley at the side of the building, sitting down and pulling her in his arms. She let herself fall on his laps and laughed quietly, not to draw attention to them.

His arms were around her in seconds and she smiled, her hands finding his automatically. He kissed her cheek again, pressing his forehead on his shoulder and signing. It looked like he didn't know how to speak to her, how to tell her what was on his mind and never in their long-ever relationship, has he been like that.

⠀- What's wrong?

Emma writhed to get comfortable and to be able to look at him instead of letting him hide behind her. He pressed another kiss to her forehead before pressing her own on his, smiling when blue met green. Her fingers were dancing on the skin of his cheek, sliding to his neck and back. She couldn't stop touching him, not that she really tried. Killian closed his eyes and she had the distinct feeling it was as if she was hurting him. She was about to move her body away..

⠀- I don't wanna be an asshole or anything of the sort, but all I can think about is you and the small noise you make if I kiss you right here.

He touched his pointing finger to the love bite still visible just behind her hear and she shuddered, closing her eyes at the wave of sensations dancing in her body.

⠀- And I know, it's new and I can't help but feel frustrated because you are right there but I miss you and I don't even know what that means.

Emma was listening to him while smiling like an idiot because he felt the same way. She couldn't believe it, she was that close to drag him out of here and let him touch her again, but then she remembered the tired look he was sporting.

⠀- I miss you too, just as much as you do, Killy. But that doesn't explain why you look so tired.. do you have nightmares again about Liam?

Killian blushed and shook his head, answering her questions quite clearly, he would never blush over a nightmare. Suddenly, she realised what it could be and she was like 99% sure it was related to their new-found relation.

⠀- Emma, love, do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep next to you now? Pun intended.

Emma burst out of laughing. She just couldn't help herself. The dork that was her boyfriend was actually joking about the matter and it made everything better. She nodded slowly before kissing his lips multiple times. She, then, took his hand and pulled it around herself tighter. She was trying to crawl under his skin. She slid her lips on his skin until it reached his ear where she murmured simple words who got the reaction she was aiming for.

⠀- Let's go home, Killian.

As soon as the words were out, he jumped up and Emma couldn't stop laughing before they started running to Emma's home. They used to do that after school, every day. He used to run home with her and then when they stopped running but they were still going home together, and now home, at least for Emma, was wherever he was.

They arrived home faster than she thought possible and she didn't have time to think of how it would happen because Killian was already on her, kissing her like it was the last time. He was taking his time, pushing and pulling at his lips, his tongue was running on her lips, until she opened for it and her own tongue was looking for the other. She liked the sensation of his tongue on her own, the slight change of his breathing every time it happened.

She felt herself walking backward but she couldn't make herself think hard enough to know where she was going, all she cared about was Killian and his lips, and his hands, the rest could wait.

⠀- God, Emma.

She giggled at his antics and let him push her up the stairs, laughing even louder. She never thought it was possible to laugh during a moment like that and Killian was once again proving that everything was possible if you were with the right person. She pulled him with her, realising how impossible it would be to walk up while kissing him. She decided to break the kiss and run to her room, knowing without any doubts that he would follow her.

She was still laughing when she reached her bed, on which she was about to fall down but instead on landing on the plush of her bed, she found herself in her favourite pair of arms. She looked up and what she saw might be her new favourite sight. Killian was looking at her, smiling but the most important thing was the darker shade of blue of his eyes. It looked like the colour of the ocean in the middle of a storm. She liked that very much.

He didn't kiss her right away, and Emma could feel anticipation building inside of her. She had never been a patient person, but Killian was pushing her limits and she did not like it at all. She wanted his lips on hers, his hands in her own, his skin against hers. She wanted to drown in Killian. As if he was could read her mind, he pushed her gently on the bed, holding her while lying her down.

She could feel him everywhere, one hand in her hair, the other making its way under her shirt. He pulled away for a moment, looking at her with the kind of awe that Emma felt down to her core, in her heart. Then he was kissing her again, trailing his lips down to the column of her neck, biting and nipping lightly, finishing on her collarbones, light touches that sent jolts of electricity in her veins.

She tugged on his shirt, and once again, her hands landed on his skin, trying not to give away too much on how much she liked touching him but seeing as his eyes were darker, she might have failed and she giggle which soon enough turned into a moan as Killian was sucking on her collarbone.

She arched her back, letting her body react on its own. She didn't want to be in control, she wanted to give herself to Killian, feeling everything he could make her feel and so much more. She was getting lost in the sensation when she remember what her mom had told her once, love is sharing, so she started moving too.

Her hands were caressing his back, shoulder and torso, she couldn't stop herself. She pushed him away slowly, to get him to sit, following him immediately. She pulled at her shirt, throwing it away and sliding her arms around him, pressing their torsos together, sighing at the feeling. She knew Ruby had told her they "needed" to be clothed be she couldn't care about being half-naked. She wanted that feeling back.

They were back at kissing each other, when Killian pushed her back and without any preamble her followed her suit and start kissing down her neck again. Emma opened her legs a bit more, giving him space to fit in between her thighs. She moaned a bit louder when she felt him right there, so close yet so far. Automatically, her body arched up, trying to increase the friction. She needed him to move, but she didn't want it to be over so fast.

She got back at kissing his lips, his cheek, his neck and as she was starting to lose herself in a pattern, Killian pulled away. She looked at him, and smiled, caressing his cheek, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him back down on hers.

⠀- It's okay, it's us.

Killian breathed deeply at that sentence and she smiled at the fact that she was still able to help him, just like that. He nodded before pressing his body on hers again and Emma keened happily at the new sensations her body was experimenting. She never wanted to lose them, she never wanted them to stop. She wanted to keep feeling like this.

Emma was feeling like Killian was doing all the job even if for now it didn't mean anything, but she wanted to participate actively too. She hooked her leg up and around his knees, and then she pushed and rolled at the same time, making them roll until she was on top of Killian. She put her entire weight on him, pressing against his erection. Her head fell back for a few moments, before she focused on the perfect body under hers.

⠀- Hey there, sailor.

Killian laughed and the vibration made her close her eyes, feeling way too much for such a small move. She bent down and kissed his lips, slowly, letting her tongue enter the equation, tangling with his while her hands roamed his body, scratching his skin when her moved under her. If it always felt like this, then Emma Sway had been missing on on her life, for real.

She pressed the palm of her hands on his torso and started moving back and forth on him, trying to get a rhythm but it was more difficult that it seemed. She was getting frustrated until Killian decided to move along with her and suddenly everything was brilliant colours and flying higher and higher. She was unable to stop her body, for what was to come, and she knew what it was, has heard all about it but she never thought she would get one so soon.

Killian was doing every he could to help her reach her destination, and she bent again, canting her hips, widening her legs and giving him some of the control back. She was losing herself in him and that was exactly what she had wanted.

Emma was laying on him, trying to get her breathing under control again, she was feeling so light and so happy, but she also felt so tired. She moved a tiny bit, getting comfortable, before closing her eyes and falling asleep, on top of Killian. Her last thoughts were that she would have never done any of that with anyone and she was so glad they were both in this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you


	5. fingering

Emma was sitting on her bed, reading a book she never thought she would have. She was reading a manual of the sort, well kind of. It was more or less, a guide, a sexual guide. She needed to know everything before they tried to do anything more meaningful. She knew what was next on the list and as much as she wanted it, she was scared as hell.

How could she not to be honest? Something was going to penetrate her? She was pretty sure it was going to hurt but Ruby and her mom told her it would, but only at first and not always with fingering... She hated when she didn't know exactly what she was supposed to expect, even more so when it was on the painful side.

All she wanted was to feel good, but something about breaking the hymen and she had no idea, she'd been reading that freaking manual for over an hour, and still nothing was clear. She kept hearing Rubs advice about touching herself first to know what she liked, but she felt silly and completely embarrassed to do that, she would rather feel Killian's hands on her.

Killian moved beside her and she blushed deeply, realising what she was reading next to her boyfriend. The first and only thing he could see from his spot, was the book cover, and she started feeling quite embarrassed but they both knew, they needed to learn about these things, and clearly, Emma felt more comfortable reading about it than talking about it.

She pressed her hand in his hair, smiling when his head automatically landed on her thigh when he rolled over, as if he was looking for her, even in his sleep. She liked that about him, his constant want to protect her. She was drawing pattern on his skull, trying to keep him asleep for a little while. Not that she didn't want him to be awake, or didn't want his company but he needed his beauty sleep, like every other human being and he tended to make sure she had hers, always. It was her turn to take care of him.

She focused again on what she was reading, getting to the important part. She wasn't actually reading about all that sexual and anatomy stuffs, but she also thought it was important she knew what was going to change in her. She wanted to be completely prepared. She was finishing reading her chapter, when she felt Killian moving against her, meaning he was either looking for her, or waking up. She finished reading her sentence, closed the book and lay down with Killian, bringing her body as close to his as humanly.

She smiled when he sighed, looping his arm around her and burying his face in her chest. She let her hands fell to his hair, holding him to her. She liked everything about their relationship, but the thing she liked the most was how Killian could be her knight in shining armour outside of their home, but also a complete sweet, shy, cuddly boy when it was only the two of them.

She dipped her head and kissed his forehead, multiple times until he looked up and she was able to press a sweet peck to his lips, not counting on his hungry respond. She mewled against his lips, trying to keep up with the kiss, and failing completely which made Killian growled at her.

She laughed and pulled on his shoulder until he was hovering above her. She smiled at him, touching his cheek with her fingers, before pushing them up in his hair.

\- Good morning, sleepy head.

Killian smiled his boyish smile and she laughed louder, shaking her head at him.

⠀- Killian? She waited for him to answer before finishing her sentence. Kiss me.

Killian smiled ant before she could even realised it, she was being kissed, quite thoroughly. She was getting lost in the kiss, pulling on his hair to keep him up on her, and to hold onto something too. She felt as if she could fly away just with his kiss, so what would happen when they tried something more? She would never survive.

Her tongue was poking his lips, and she laughed when he groaned because she was messing the pretty perfect moment. He pushed his hands in her hair, holding her head still while her kissed her lips, cheek, then nipping his way to her neck. He spent quite some time there, licking and sucking on her skin, and all Emma could do was holding on for dear life, and trying not to make too much noise.

She was getting crazy, her hands where everywhere at once, trying to touch every inch on his skin, and Killian was still holding her still, so she could not even turn her head to kiss him back. She growled at him, and it might have taken by surprise because her let her go, to look at her. She smiled and kissed him, pulling on his hair to incline his head as she wanted it, before losing herself in the crook of his neck, tasting the saltiness of his skin.

She had read in her book how you could use teeth to procure pleasure, she wanted to try but she also could hurt him and she didn't want that at all. She let her teeth grazed his pulse point and she felt him shiver above her and she smiled, doing it again, applying a bit more of pressure until she heard that noise that he made. She moved a bit until her lips closed on his collarbone, sucking harshly, knowing he liked it that way. At this point, she was mostly holding him up, because he was losing control over himself and she was delightful because of it.

She moved her legs, opening them for him, and her feet landed flat on the mattress of her bed, and she used that to push her hips against his, hoping he would get the hint. She

wanted him, now. Killian growled when their hips aligned and she smiled, moving or at least trying to move back and forth under him, to get him to move with her. He finally surrendered and start moving with her, rolling his pelvis against hers and she fell on her pillow, moaning slightly, trying not to make noise but it was difficult, she had no idea how to control her breathing and the volume of her moans. She wanted him to know how good it felt but she didn't want her parents to hear them.

She pulled on his neck, sticking her tongue in his mouth, engulfing their moans and sighs in their kiss. They were starting to be really good at this, him moving against her, and her kissing the hell out of me him. She liked them like this, lost in the sexual tension. She was completely lost in the moment, when her mom entered the room without knocking.

Emma was at the brink of her fourth orgasm when she heard her mother gasped. She pushed Killian away, hiding herself under her pillow, rolling on her side and trying to block everything else. She was mortified. She never thought that would happen. Her mom knew she had to knock, for Gods sake.

She felt Killian sitting in the bed next to her, assuming her mom left the room. She never heard it, and all she wanted was for the floor to swallow her like right now. She didn't want to deal with that. She was feeling so damn good two minutes ago, and now she was feeling like the dumbest person ever. Killian tried to touch her but she moved away. She needed time to herself. And she might have to talk with her mother too. They had to talk about knocking on doors, and about what she saw. Not that she could have seen much with their clothes still on, and it wasn't like they were doing crazy erotic stuffs.

Killian kissed her forehead and whispered "I love you, no matter what" which made her smile, because she was not about to lose him over something so stupid but she needed time and he knew it. She loved him even more so because he was willing to face her parents without her. When he was getting up, and probably ready to walk downstairs, she grabbed his hand and tugged on it until Killian was again sitting on her bed.

⠀- I love you too.

He smiled, kissed the tip of her nose and left to give her space and time. As soon as she was alone, she fell on her bed again for some minutes, just trying to get her thoughts straight again. She was trying really hard not to freak out, but it wasn't really helping. She would always run to her mother if she had a crisis, but she definitely couldn't now, right? Or, maybe she could but she wasn't brave enough to face her mother just yet.

She got up of her bed, and walked, okay, ran to the bathroom, closing and locking the door as soon as she was in. She knew her mother would try to talk to her, and she wasn't ready for that. She took her shower as fast as she could, ready to actually run. She dressed herself with her favourite Nike sport bra, and pair of shorts, and headed right out. She wasn't extremely athletic but she liked to run sometimes, it helped clearing her head.

She was honestly running away from her house, and trying not to run into any of her friends which would be ridiculously hard because it was Storybrooke. Someone would end up seeing her, and since everyone know Emma Swan only run when something is going on, they would know pretty fast. She took a turn at some point, to go to the dock. It was Killian's favourite place. She needed to be close to him without being with him. It had always helped her in the past.

* * *

 

While Emma was gone, and he knew what she was going to do well before she realised she was going to do it. He walked down, a bit embarrassed but after all it was kinda bound to happy. Emma and himself had walked on her parents more than once, and nobody died of embarrassment but it was still something he didn't particularly talk about it. He was walking slowly, trying to make the time go slower. He heard David laughing which means, he 1) didn't know yet or 2) didn't really care. He really hoped it was the later.

Mary-Margaret was the first one to notice him and she smiled happily to him and he instantly knew it was going to be okay. Emma's parents had literally taken care of him since he was a lad. His earliest souvenir of the USA was with them and Emma. They were his family, as much as Emma's. He walked to them with as much confident as he could muster and sit down in between them. They used to do that, before, offering quiet moment and talks with them, not so much anymore. He missed it more than he would care to admit.

He smiled as soon as MM pressed a kiss to his forehead, while David clapped him on the back, laughing.

⠀- It's okay Killy. I was just not expecting it, but it's okay. I'm not mad or disappointed.

Killian closed his eyes, absorbing what MM had just said, and the corner of his mouth tilted up, nodding once.

⠀- I know it's quite the change but you know more than anyone how much I love Emma.

Mary-Margaret smiled and nodded. She took his hand and waited until he looked at her, kind of nervously. That move only meant serious or deep meaningful conversation, and he didn't which one he should looking for right now. He looked at her and waited on her to start talking. He could see the adults looking at each others and MM's smile grew bigger before she turned her attention back to him.

⠀- I wanted to tell you a lot of stuff lately but it seems like we didn't have any time and I don't think it's neither of our fault, but I need to tell you now. You've been in our life since you arrived in the united stated, and honestly been our son since before Liam enrolled for the Navy. We're always going to care for you, or get worried about you as much as we do and will about Emma. Your relation with Emma isn't something new, or at least it wasn't when you guys finally decided that sneaking around for 6 months was enough before telling us what we already knew.

Killian laughed at that, remembering how he used to climb the tree to get to Emma's room just because he could, or when they would sneak him in at night time, just to talk in her room, and fall asleep in her bed. He squeezed her hands and smiled, blinking tears away. He'd never realised how much he needed to hear these paroles.

⠀- We want you to know that no matter what happen between you and Emma is your choices, both of your choice. We won't say anything in that matter as long as you're both being safe and responsible. You two have been together for so long, and you will be for even longer than that. We both want you to be happy, and if that's what's happening so be it. I also want you to know that Emma showed me the list and I read the two items you added to it, and I'm so proud of you and the man you've became, Killian. I'm so proud of what you've overcome and I know you'll be an amazing man and an amazing dad if that's what you, kids, want. I'm just so proud of you.

Killian didn't let her finish her speech before closing his arms around her waist and hugging her, well it was more like throwing himself in her arms. He missed her mom more than he could tell, but that woman, there, in his arms was the closest thing to a mom he had and he was so damn honoured. He hugged her tightly, and Mary-Margaret closed her arms around his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of his head, passing her hand in his hair, sniffling her own tears away.

* * *

 

Emma came back, out of breathe and ran right into the living room where she found her parents and boyfriend laughing at something they were looking on the TV. She took a moment to enjoy the scene, before calling for her mom. She left as soon as she could and took another quick shower, before walking in her room, where her mother was already waiting. She was sitting in the chair in front of her desk and it made her laugh.

⠀- Okay, first mom. You need to learn how to knock on doors. Both Killian and I are pretty much adults, and you could have walking in on us being naked, well to be honest, I don't know if it would have been worse.

MM nodded at her daughter and laughed at the last comment, completely shocked that she was completely okay with what happened an hour ago. She moved to sit next to her daughter and dropped her arm around her shoulder.

⠀- Emma, I told you it was okay. I already apologised to Killian this morning, and I'm going to do it again now to you. I am sorry for what happened, I should have knocked and it won't ever happen again.

Emma smiled and put her head on her mom's shoulder, enjoying their closeness once again. She knew she was lucky to have that kind of relation with her mother.

⠀- Mom? Will it hurt? You know when he'll…

Apparently, she didn't have to finish her sentence, her mom seemed to know what she meant. She shook her head slowly, kissing the top of her head.

⠀- The next thing on your list won't hurt as long as you're wet enough and that you doesn't block it.

Emma blushed and she laughed nervously at the comment. She wanted to tell her mom it wouldn't be a problem since it was the only think she could think of lately. But she stopped herself and keep that thought for herself, and maybe Killian if the moment was right.

They kept talking about random subject until they decided it was time to walked back down to join their men and Emma smiled at that, almost running to Killian. She ran up to him, jumping on him and murmuring how sorry she was for running and he simply kissed her silent which made her so happy.

They were looking at each other, locked in their own world when David coughed to get their attention, which seemed to work quite well. They looked at him, and MM was sitting next to him, before he blushed a little and began to say something Emma would have never guessed in her entire life.

⠀- Kids, if you want your mother and I could, i don't know, leave the house from now on and come back later that evening, you know give you the house to do what you wanted.

The kids blushed and Emma was pretty sure, she was going to fall down, and lose her eyes, because if Killian's eyes were open so big, she had no idea what her own looked like but she was sure she looked like a gapping fish.

Killian tried to say something but Emma just took his hand, and squeezed before getting up, smelling at her parents before tugging Killian to her room, yelling a thanks to her parents. They were literally sprinting to her room and as soon as they entered her room, they landed on her bed before anyone could have said anything. She knew now her parents would either listen to some music, leave the house or do something but she wouldn't even care. Her parents just told them to go for it, and that's what she was about to do.

She took the book she was reading this morning, opening to the Step-by-Step chapter and showed it to Killian and laughing at his face, and his blush. She shook his head and pushed him against the headboard, before settling against him, reading with him.

She was about to ask him a question when she got a text notification, knowing it was her mother, she looked at it quickly, laughing out loud when she read the text. She pushed her phone in Killian's hands waiting for his reaction while her read "out for the next few hours, text me when it's safe to come back home". He laughed and shook his head.

He couldn't believe that was happening, right now. He wasn't nervous, more like anxious. It wasn't like Emma knew what she was supposed to do or feel either. They would learn together, always. He took the book and started reading and trying to remember everything he was supposed to to, but it was complicated without knowing how it looks like. He wanted to propose something to Emma, but he had no idea how she would react.

⠀- Spill, Killy.

He smiled at how well she could read him, before he took a deep breathe, kissing her brows and murmuring against her skin.

⠀- We could learn as we go? I mean, you could always tell me what feels good and what doesn't, you know?

Emma seemed to like that idea if the way her face beamed at him and she jumped on him, kissing him right on the mouth, quite loudly. He opened under her tongue and everything was a blur after that, clothes flying everything, until both Killian and Emma were on her bed in their underwear. She wasn't exactly shy in front of Killian but she had never been naked in front of anyone before except her mom but that doesn't count.

She was lying down on her back while Killian was lying on his belly, still reading some important thing he wanted to know before going for it. She was looking at him and smiled softly at his focused stare. He wanted to do it right for her, and she loved him for it. She passed her hand on his hair, pulling on it until his mouth landed on hers.

⠀- Just touch me and we'll learn.

He nodded and kept kissing her, his hands moving on her stomach. Goosebumps was following his hands and she signed. She really liked how her body reacted to him, and she wanted to know about these reaction. She arched her back and pushed her arms behind her, unhooking her bra, throwing it away.

Killian smiled, looking intently at her boobs, and she took his hand and moved it to them, letting him explore her body just as much as she was learning what was happening. She learned that she liked when he was barely touching her on the underside of her boobs, she liked how he would squeeze them with his whole hand as often as he could, and she loved when he tugged on her nipple, making the hard peek even harder. He played with her breast some more, before going down on them with his mouth, and she lost her mind. If his hands on her were good, his mouth was heaven. Feeling his warm tongue on her sensitive skin was everything she wanted and more. She saw him open his mouth wide before taking her boob on his mouth, closing it around her nipple and sucking hard. She mewled, moaning some nonsense, but god it felt good.

He was still playing with her breast when she felt his hand slightly moving down her stomach and she was completely lost in her pleasure, she took his hand and pushed it under her underwear. Her eyes shot open and she pulled on Killian's hair until she was able to move a bit and kiss him, before letting play her.

⠀- Just, don't stop touching me, please.

She felt him nod on the skin of her neck where he was currently sucking another love bites. She tighten her grip on Killian shoulder and let him do as he pleased. He was still going slow and it was not something she wanted, she wanted him and it wasn't him to be so cautious about her. She moved and kicked her underwear away, not caring a bit that she was completely naked in front of her boyfriend for the first time, with his hand currently touching what she assumed was her clit.

She keened when her pressed harder on her clit, arching her back and pressing harder on his hand. He moved his head away and looked at her. She smiled and nodded, answering the unspoken question and before he could do anything, she moved and kissed him again, much slower than before. She wanted him to know it wasn't all that she wanted from him, murmuring an I love you on his lips.

She felt his fingers moving around her folds, getting to know that part of her, as he did with all the others. She was moaning and calling his name every time he did something she really enjoyed, like when he pressed the palm of his hand on her clit and simply let her move against his hand. She was gripping his hair and the bed sheet, trying not to move too much. She tensed a bit when she felt a finger probing her entrance, but she remembered her mom's advice about not blocking it, and she relaxed, realising how Killian was encouraging her, murmuring sweet-nothing in her skin.

She mewled and arched up and she closed her eyes, choosing to feel over thinking. She soon felt another finger entering her, feeling her body stretching to let him in and she was about to lose herself, it was too much and not enough at the same time. She was torn between begging for more or for him to stop, but then he started to move and she was gone, completely, utterly gone for him and for that moment.

⠀- Fuck, Killian, yes!

Sweet mother of god, it felt good. Now that Killian knew how deep he could go, and what he could do inside of her to make her come, it was as if he always knew. Killian was alternating between penetration and simple caresses. There was way too much going on down there but she didn't want it to stop, like ever.

⠀- Oh God, Kil- Oh!

Emma was moving her hips in sync with his hand, losing herself to the climax that was growing in her belly. She started moving harder, faster on him and Killian was holding her to him, making sure she kept her balance. Killian kept moving his hand and fingers, changing the angle, looking for her G-spot, they had read about it and she wasn't confident they would find it at their first try, but boy was she wrong. She keened louder when he found it, feeling it all the way down to her toes. She couldn't explain it, but she wanted to feel it again.

⠀- Again! Killian, please.

Emma doesn't think anymore, she wanted and needed. Both hands were clinging to his muscular shoulders, so she could take what was so close. Killian kissed away her cries and moans, knowing how much she was scared of being caught again. She rolled her hips as best as she could since she was not really sure what she's doing.

Gasping out for air, her forehead now pressed to Killian's as his thumb found her clit and played with it. She wanted to help and move or get him to climax with her but she was too fare gone to actually do more than think of that.

⠀- Killian!

Emma reached her climax harder than she thought was possible. Even with her lips locked in a hungry kiss with Killian's, she knows she's been loud but can't make herself care about that anymore. She finally know what's a real orgasm. What Ruby was talking about. She sagged against Killian's chest, her face in his neck, letting him hold her and soothe her. She couldn't even believe they had waited so long before doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you


	6. masturbation

Emma woke up the night after in a cold bed. It could only mean that Killian had left. She frowned, she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't wake up next to him. She moved, his pillow now pressed to her face and she smiled, smelling him. She liked his scent, musky, old book and sea. She had no idea how he could pull these scents and make them work together but he so did.

Without second thoughts, she was falling back asleep. Waking up only when her mom walked in her room, to get her for lunch. She smiled at the way her mother is sitting on the edge of her bed, as if Emma was still 8 years old, asking questions about everything. She grabbed her mom's hand exactly as she used to do before, and smiled sweetly. Her mom couldn't do anything but smile back and squeeze her hand.

⠀- Okay, Monkey, it's time for lunch.

Emma groaned, and hid her face in her pillow, hiding her smile at the nickname her mom stopped using forever ago. She pulled herself up, using her mom's hand.

⠀- Hi, mommy.

Both pair of eyes widened at the nickname, Emma hadn't used since she decided she was big enough to call her mom, mom at the age of 6. Emma blushed furiously, and MM laughed quietly. She bent over her daughter and kissed her forehead before leaving the room.

⠀- Hurry, if you want to have anything good left on the table. You know you're dad, sweetie.

Emma laughed and hurried to put a shirt on, not realising it's Killian's and a pair of shorts before running down to the kitchen table and grabbing the only bear claw her mom bought on Wednesday, before her dad even blinked. MM laughed out loud, looking at David's face when he realised her daughter once again got the pastry.

Emma then went to the kitchen to get her hot cocoa, with cinnamon, smirking at her dad.

⠀- Sorry, old man. You might be fast enough next time, though.

Mary Margaret laughed at her daughter, shaking her head. She kissed David's cheek and minded her own plate and breakfast after that, as the rest of the family. Emma has always liked having family breakfast tradition, but without Killian here it wasn't complete. She missed him, already and she'd been awake for less than an hour. She needed to find a way to spend the rest of the day, because otherwise she'll spend it thinking of Killian.

⠀- So, Emma, what's your plans for tonight?

It was as if her mom could read her mind sometimes, and it was pretty scary. How many times her mom had guessed what Emma was thinking, she could never understand. She looked up and smiled, holding her beeping phone up, showing her parents, the number of texts she just got from Ruby and Tink. She usually wake up with a text from Killian whenever is not here, but not today, which made her frown. He will text her as soon as he have some free time.

⠀- Well, I guess it's girls night.

* * *

 

Emma was getting ready for her girls night which was including grab dinner at Granny's to end the night at their usual bar. She opted for black denim shorts with an off-shoulder white shirt, with a black bralette that you could see through the shirt. She smiled at the reflection, before choosing some heels.

She did it without even realising what she was doing, but it was too late to back off now. The picture had been sent and received. The picture was showing, her outfit more than her face since she hadn't done her make up yet, she would sent another one, as soon as it was ready. She was waiting on Killian's reply, because now that their relationship had changed, she could do that, right?

She out her phone down, and start doing her famous smoky-eyes, smiling at herself when she was done. She was about to do her eyeliner when her phone beeped, signalling a text. She almost sprint to her phone, laughing at herself. Her screen was light up by a text stating "you want me dead" She read it while running outside to join her friends.

She waited to be in the car, and took a picture of herself, showing off her cleavage, her make up and the fact that she was bitting her lips, knowing it was something that slowly but surely drove Killian completely wild, and would end up with his lips on hers. Attached to the picture was a simple winky emoji.

* * *

 

The girls walked in Granny's and went to sit in their usual booth. She smiled at her friend because spending time with them was exactly what she needed. She loved spending all of her free time with Killian but sometimes she felt like she was pushing her friends away, and they've always been there for her so she was trying to make it up to them as much as she could.

They hadn't been there for 5 minutes that their meal were already on their table, and she smiled at Granny. She liked that she knew what they would order, no matter what. She took a sip of her hot chocolate and smiled at Tink- They smiled at each others, simply waiting on Ruby to start talking about her relationship with Mulan.

⠀- Go for it Ruby, we know you're dying to tell us.

Ruby laughed at Tink's comment and start talking about her relationship. Giving us all the details about how being with a girl publicly was a dream come true and how happy she was. She even tried to give us details, but Tink stopped her before she could even open her mouth about it.

⠀- Don't even start on sex, Rubs. Not all of us are obsessed.

I laughed and blushed when my phone beeped because Killian has replied to her text with a simple. "Emma, you look amazing, wish i was there to kiss those lips." She looked up after reading it and tried to hide her reaction. Emma took her phone and typed a reply as fast as she could, without looking like an obsessed. "You have no idea how much I want you to".

When she looked up, both Ruby and Tink were looking at her, knowing exactly what she's been doing. Emma smiled, trying to hide her blush.

⠀- Yes?

Ruby looked at her and before she could say something Emma's phone beeped again. Ruby grabbed it before Emma could even react. Emma hid her head with her hands, knowing without any doubts than she would see the whole conversation, not that it was bad. She blushed harder when Ruby started to make some noise and Tink gasped at it. She had no idea what Killian had replied, so she kinda got scared.

She snatched her phone away and look, blushing even more when she read the text he had just sent. "Emma, Stop, you know what you do to me". He had even attached a picture of him, only wearing a boxer and Emma tried to control her arousal but she couldn't help it. Her boyfriend was hot as hell.

She shook her head before replying "Babe, I won't be able to stay with Rubs and Tink if you keep that up" before sending another one "please don't ever stop". She put her phone down again, and tried to keep the conversation going. She had also switched her phone to silence because she couldn't give these kind of information to Ruby.

⠀- So… from what we just saw, it's going really well with Killian.

Ruby was waiting for details, while Tink was trying not to look too interesting but honestly she wanted to know as much as Ruby. She looked down, smiled and looked up again. Waiting for the questions, she knew were coming.

⠀- Okay, Emma you know me, and I wanna know everything.

Emma laughed and throw her diary on the table, to Ruby. Her eyes lit up and Emma laughed out loud. She couldn't believe her reaction to a simple notebook.

⠀- Look for yourself, and then maybe you're really nice, I'll answer your questions.

Emma took that time to read Killian's text. "Emma, I want you to touch me. I miss you. Wish i could touch all of that skin on display, would you want that, love? My hand sliding all over you thigh, before coming so close to where you want me." She gasped and pressed her thighs together, trying to keep her breathing even. She tried to act normal while Ruby was commenting on her diary.

* * *

 

Emma was dreading the questions she was about to get, but at the same time she wanted to share all of that with her friends. She knew she would never be able to keep anything from them, but she didn't want to tell them everything because it was between her and Killian.

⠀- I've been waiting for you to finally take that step in order to express myself on that, so here it is. With Killian being liquid on sex, tell me he knows what he's doing.

Emma blushed and laughed. She couldn't believe her best friend had been hitting on her boyfriend for that long. She knew Killian was hot, god dammit she knew all along but even she had no idea what he was hiding under all of those shirts. She liked that Killian was hot, but he wasn't one of those asshole who only wanted sex, hell he hadn't said anything before.

⠀- Well, I don't know if he knows what he's doing, since I'm his first as well, but he's for sure a quick learner. You've seen what we checked off the list, and the making out part was kinda weird, because we had no idea what we were doing, but it was funny and Mom said that laughing during sex is the key. Mom walked on us, when we were dry-humping..

Her friends laughed and Emma joined them. That was for sure an hilarious story even if at first it made her freak out, now she was laughing about it. Her mom had taken her time to let her know it was okay, she even talked to Killian. They were good, and even closer than before.

⠀- Mhh.. yeah and we tried the last items yesterday night, and I've never felt that way. It was so intense and he seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing to me, and damn he was so cocky about it, it was turning me on so much.

They talked and talked some more about Killian and her, about her, about next year, about their dreams, and they kept talking for so long, Emma couldn't even remember the last time she had talked that much. Tink and Ruby were deep into a conversation, so Emma used that time to check her phone, and when she saw that she has 5 new texts, she was already bitting her lower lip. She wanted to read them badly, but she was scared of what he would text her. He was capable of making her feel on fire with a sentence. She opened them, and not even 30 seconds later, she was getting up and walking out of the dinner to take a cab. "Darling, I wish you were here with me" "God. I miss touching you." "Are you wet for me?" "Wish I could press my lips to you throat, and suck the skin here" "I want to taste you."

* * *

 

Emma finally arrived home after drinking some drinks with her friends, and most importantly sending alluring text to Killian. She had never been more turned on in her life without Killian being here with her. She wanted him, and the bastard had to be in the next town.

She was upset and fucking horny, and she couldn't think of anything else. She needed to take care of herself, and after all that was what Ruby had suggester first, right? so fuck off she would do it. She might not be completely thinking clearly, but it was the first night she was alone since they began their new adventure and she wanted to have sex, now.

She ran to her room, disrobing herself as fast as her clumsy fingers would let her, and let herself fell on her bed. She took her phone, praying for Killian to be still up and still as needy as her. She wanted to share that moment with him, still. She send him a text, just a simple picture of her, laying down, showing some of her breasts. She was trusting him, and knew he would never betray her like that. She got a thrill of the idea of people finding those pictures, even the one she got all night long.

She started touching her skin, just feather touched to see how her own body would react. she was able to see goosebumps rise on her skin and she shivered at the cold air hitting her hot skin. Her phone vibrated on her bed and she hurried to open the response, bitting her lips as soon as her eyes landing on a similar picture that she had sent. She could see his torso, and the way he was bitting his lips. She closed her eyes, just thinking about touching her hot boyfriend. She moaned at the text that followed his picture.

God she wanted him to do as his said, but since he wasn't here she would do it herself. She started by sliding her fingers on her nipples, playing with them until they were hard. She pinched it and moaned again. She got a sudden idea, and smiled wickedly before taking her phone, opening snapchat, and recorded a video of herself touching her nipple, and moaning before sending it to Killian. As much as she trusted him, she wasn't completely comfortable recording an actual video.

⠀- God, Killian, I wish it was you.

She sent it before focusing again on her body and what it was asking again. She was trying to understand herself better and after all, she could guide Killian best if she knew what she liked. She used both of her hands to play with her boobs, building her arousal even higher. She wanted to come, no she needed to come.

She completely forgot her phone, and started really getting into it. She moved her hand down her stomach, feeling it trembling under her hands and what she was doing. Her legs fell open, and she was feeling on fire. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, but she then remembered what Killian has done and she tried to replicate it. Her hands were caressing her inner thighs, wondering what she should do next. She was shivering, her back arching, trying to get closer to her fingers.

⠀- Killian…

She turned her face into her pillow on her face as soon as the tip of her finger found her clit, jerking away from it but pushing it against her finger at the same time. She started drawing circles on her clit, making her moan louder. Her hips were undulating on their own accord and she was loosing herself. She moved her hand down, and let her fingers played with her entrance. She was getting shy at doing it herself, but that's when Killian's text came in and she lost any shyness she had before.

She pressed a finger into herself, caressing her inner walls, trying to find the right angle. Her lips were moving back and forth, trying to get as much as her finger as she could. Soon enough it wasn't enough, and she pressed another finger in, stretching her walls. She keened at the feeling, looking for the spot Killian had found and knew would take her over the edge. She didn't have any point of comparison, but she was feeling good. She grabbed her phone and took a quick picture and send it to Killian, to let him know that she was currently taking herself to ecstasy.

She moved her hand slightly, and her thumb touched her clit, making herself moan louder than before. She pressed her fist into her mouth, blocking the sounds she was making. She didn't want to wake her parents, so she had to keep quiet. Her free hand was playing with her nipple as soon as she let her phone was out of her hand. She needed to come, and she needed it now.

She pressed harder on her clit, moving her hips in sync with her finger, she was loosing herself, panting and moaning. One second she was getting to something high and powerful, and the next she was simply flying up and up, she felt like she could not breathe or even think. All she was seeing was pure white light, and she was shaking from head to toes.

She fell back against the mattress, panting and sweaty. How hadn't she do that before? she's was still trying to understand. She was trying to catch up her breathe, she grabbed her phone again, typing a quick text to Killian. Baby, I'm out. I'm going to sleep. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow, be careful. Love you. Before rolling on herself, hugging his pillow and falling asleep, happy and completely sated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you :)


	7. cunnilingus

Killian wanted to surprise Emma with a date, not an official one with dinner in a fancy restaurant. It wasn't them. He wanted to take her stargazing, but he needed some help before he could. He wanted to borrow David's truck, and make it into a bed, and ask Mary-Margaret if she could help him make a picnic for them.

Everything was ready for their date, everything except Emma. She didn't know that they were going yet, and after some convincing he had done this morning, that girl went out with Elsa and Anna. Giving Killian all the time he needed to prepare the date.

As soon as she had left, Killian had run to her parents. Almost begging them to help her, as always Emma's parents were happy to help, that was who they were. Killian asked David if he could borrow the truck, and then proceed to explain what he wanted to do.

David agreed for the truck as long as he was careful with it and their safety, he also asked him to know where they were going, and for how long. David had always trusted Killian with his daughter, but he was not really feeling ok with them being outside in the forest. He just wanted to know where they were headed.

When part one of point #2 of his plan was handled, he had to create their nest for the night. He ran up their room, and took all the pillow he could find, except Emma's because he knew how much she hated when her pillow went outdoors. He then walked back down, and put everything in the car. He was about to walked back in the house to get the blanket when her mom was here, arms full of plaids and blankets. He smiled and helped her to the car.

⠀⠀- Thank you!

He smiled gratefully, before turning to her and asked her if she would be fine with helping him preparing some snacks. Before he could finish his sentence, Mary-Margaret was already nodding which made him smile. On an impulse, he turned fully to her and hugged her.

⠀⠀- I'll start ahead, join me when you finish with the truck and all of that Jazz!

He gave her a grunting answer, before pulling the blankets and putting them together to make it look cute and cozy. He then added the pillows, being sure to put Emma's favourite on her spot on the truck.

* * *

 

After finishing outside, he walked back inside, sending a quick text to Emma, to check up on her. He got an immediate response, a positive one. He walked in the kitchen and saw her parents having one of those moments when the would stand so close to each other, it was weird to be in the same room. They kissed some times, and Killian decided to go upstairs and take a quick shower, before coming back down and started on making the snacks.

He arrived in the kitchen and was glad to see their moment was finished. He smiled when he saw that Mary-Margaret had already sorted what they would make. She was her mother after all, of course she knew what her daughter liked.

They started by cutting some strawberries, peached and raspberries and putting them into boxes. Then Mary-Margaret decided to make some hot chocolate while Killian was making grilled cheese.

⠀⠀- So what are you planning on doing with my daughter?

Killian jumped a bit at the sudden questions. They had spend the last hour making snacks in complete silence.

⠀⠀- Oh, we're just going to our spot, you know the field near the forest? I'm taking her there and we're going to enjoy the stars.

⠀⠀- That's adorable, Killian. I really hope the weather is going to stay that way. You both deserve a night out, just the two of you.

Killian thanked her and smiled. He could feel the heat on his ears, and his cheeks, unable to do more than nodding as a thanks. He knew he was blushing as always when Mary-Margaret told him something relatively sweet. They finished preparing the snacks and just before putting every away in the basket, they both heard Emma coming back home. Mary-Margaret ushered him away, and blocked her from the kitchen. He walked to Emma, smiling.

⠀⠀- Emma, love, go get ready, we're going on a date, outdoors.

Emma had no other choices than follow the instruction, she walked directly up to her room and got ready for the mysterious date.

* * *

Killian had thought about blindfolding Emma, but he knew she wasn't comfortable doing that, so he didn't. He would never do something to make her feel bad. He was driving to their usual spot when they were stargazing, and Emma knew even before he took the road there.

She squealed happily before she remembered they were in a enclosed space and it would be bad form to make so much noise. She took advantage of the bench seat and slide to Killian, kissing his cheek, before leaning her head on his shoulder, meaningful of not disturbing his driving. She pressed her hand on his thigh, drawing slow circles with her thumb on his jeans.

They talked all the way to their spot, about everything and anything. She liked that between them. They were best friends before being anything else, and honesty had always been her favourite thing in a relationship.

⠀⠀- So.. How was your night out with the girls?

Emma snickered and before she could answer, Killian pulled the car to a stop. She was about to answer, when Killian turned her head up, using his thumb on her chin to lift her head and kissed her, slowly. It was one of their old kiss, a simple peck which made her smile.

⠀⠀- What was that for? All of that?

⠀⠀- I just wanted to make something nice for you, love. Am I not allowed to?

⠀⠀- Of course, babe.

Emma turned her body to face his, and kissed him before she moved out of the car. She knew where she was about to go, so instead of walking out. She opened the door, climbed out but stay in the car before climbing on the bed of the truck. She heard Killian laugh behind her, before he climbed in as well.

She gasped when she saw all that was in front of her. There was her favourites snacks, chocolates, fruits, drinks, and everything that she loved. Killian had made it for her, especially for her. She had no idea why, but suddenly she was throwing herself at Killian, hugging him as hard as she could.

⠀⠀- Thank you so much, Killian.

Killian closed his arms around Emma, pressing his nose to her hair, breathing her in. He then pressed kisses all over her forehead, then kissing down her nose, moving to her cheeks, eyelids, chin, brows, to finish on her lips, kissing the laughter away.

He smiled at her, holding her face in his hands, looking at her.

⠀⠀- I love you, Emma Swan. And I'm so very glad, we are doing that together. I love you even more because you trust me with that, and you believe in us and I cannot wait to see what we're capable of together in the future.

Emma pressed a simple peck to his lips, before moving away from his lap, choosing instead to sit on the other side on the truck. She smiled at him, before her moved to take everything out of the basket.

They started eating in an easy silence, not bothering to fill it in. They spent their days together, they couldn't speak every minute of every day. They enjoyed their picnic together, it had been a while since they'd share something that simple just the two of them and she was glad Killian had thought of that for them. She always like when he took her on outdoors activities, even more so when it was about something he was passionate about.

As soon as Emma, finished the cup of hot chocolate she was holding, she put it back down on the cup holder he had thought of taking with him, before moving around and sit between Killian's stretched legs, her back to his front. His arms were immediately around her middle and she smiled. She took his hand, in hers and pulled it up to her mouth, pressing a kiss there.

It wasn't dark enough to see the stars yet, so she was just enjoying his warmth, and the safety of his arms. She had always told her mom how Home wasn't a place but a person, and she had been right all along. She had never felt more at home than when she was in his arms.

Killian was drawing some kind of pattern on her belly and Emma was trying not to react because she didn't want him to realise that what he was doing was tickling her or she would be screwed. She must have failed because as soon as the thought crossed her mind, his hands were moving more purposely near her side, her most ticklish spots.

She tried to get away, but he was faster and held her against his chest. Emma was pretty sure he would just attacked her with his hands, but instead he pressed his mouth to her neck, making her melt on the spot before he start tickling her. She was laughing and screeching so loud, she was sure the people living in Storybrooke had heard her.

She was finally able to get away from his hands, sweaty, cheeks flushed and uneven breathing.

⠀⠀- I like that look on you.

She knew Killian would have thought something like that, but for him to actually say it. She was shocked, so much that she didn't see him surged forward and kissed her. She gasped surprisingly before responding to the kiss, pushing him back and following him. Killian landed on his back, Emma on top of him.

She pushed her hand under his head, holding him to her. She tilted her head on the left, deepening the kiss by touching Killian's bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. He opened up for her, and she smiled, so big she had to stop kissing him. She giggled, letting her forehead fall on his.

⠀⠀- Sorry, it's just.. we end up doing that a lot lately.

Killian smiled at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her hair before kissing her again, more sweetly than anything. He wanted to keep kissing her but he also wanted to see the stars, well to be honest, he would simply follow her lead. If she wanted to kiss him for the rest of their night out, then he would.

Emma broke the kiss, panting against him. They were so close to one another, than he was able to feel her breathe on his lips. He licked his lips and she blushed so prettily. She looked up when she realised how dark it was around him, and she moved on the side, tucking herself on his side, pressing a last kiss to his torso before she turned her head up to look at the night sky.

As always in situation like that, Killian did most of the talking, explaining again and again the same stories. Emma had to know them by now, but she always asked him to keep telling her. Normally she would get drowsy but tonight, the more he was talking, the more he could feel the tension growing in her body.

Before he could ash her what was wrong, she turned and climbed on him, pressing his mouth to his. He could feel the urgency in her kisses, not really understanding what was going on, but he was simply kissing her, responding to everything she was doing.

⠀⠀- Don't stop kissing me.

She moved again, widening her legs, and sliding them up around his hips, placing him right above his hardening cock. She pressed down slowly, trying to get a feeling of the situation, but Killian didn't want her to be cautious, he wanted her lost in her urgency and need. He pressed his hips up against her. Hands on his hips, forcing her to move above him, making him pressed where she needed him the most.

She moaned low in her throat against his lips. She bite his bottom lips, pulling on it until it clicked back in place and she pressed her face in the crook of his neck, trying to control her body and mind.

⠀⠀- God, Emma. You're amazing.

She giggles breathlessly before closing her lips around his pulse point and sucking, hard. She wanted to leave a mark, one that would take weeks to fade away. They were moving in a perfect dance, as if they've done that forever even though it was their first time. She pressed her fingers harder in his scalps, pulling on the strands of hair that were in between her fingers. She arched her back, pressing more firmly her clit against him, keened louder when she found the right angle.

Emma couldn't hear anything, she knew Killian was murmuring things but she couldn't get them. She couldn't focus enough to do that, all she wanted was feeling more of that blinding pleasure she knew was on its way. She was about to reach it when she finally understood what her was murmuring.

⠀⠀- Emma, God, can I taste you?

She nodded, but didn't move. She would let him do anything to her if only he would get her to the climax that was so, so close now.

⠀⠀- Anything, but please don't stop. Just don't stop!

Killian pulled on her hair, pressing his mouth on her, once the kiss was secure, and he knew she would not stop. He pressed his hands on her hips, squeezing so hard he knew they would be bruises here tomorrow, and helped her press on him. He could feel his own climax coming. She was chanting his name and other curses he didn't care about.

She reached her climax first. She sagged on him, trying to keep the movement going to help him reach the climax she knew was so very close to him. She moved her lips to his ear and bite on it, groaning slowly. That was what pushed him over the edge, and she smiled when she felt him tensed and relaxed under her.

She rolled over, falling to his side, giggling happily. Killian turned his head to look at her and he laughed with her, moving to his side, reaching for her instantly.

⠀⠀- What do you say, love? Should we go home for the second part?

* * *

 

The drive home was torture, absolute torture. Both of them were still buzzing from their highs, and both were nervous and excited about the next step they were about to take. Killian parked the car in front of the house, and before she could get out, he pulled her to him and kissed her as deeply as he deemed appropriate for his father-in-law's car.

* * *

 

The fell silent, hands moving on each other body, mouths following these gentles caresses until neither could handle what their body was demanding. Emma was marvelling at what she was feeling, and how it seemed like she would never get enough of him. Het train of thoughts got broken by his voice, asking if it was okay, if she was still okay with him tasting her. She smiled, nodding, cupping his cheek.

⠀⠀- Killian… I would never do any of that with anyone else.

As soon as she had voiced her reply, Killian pressed a path of kissed, from her throat to her belly. Stopping once again, to look up at her, his hand playing with her boobs. Emma moved her hands, sliding her fingers in between his, squeezing her own breasts. Killian smiled, before he pressed another kiss, tongue entering the equation, just above her panties waistband, eyes still locked on hers.

Shouldering her thighs apart, Killian takes up residence before her sex, licking his lips. He didn't waste anytime dipping his mouth to her. They both moaned for different reasons. Her for finally feeling his tongue on her, and him for finally tasting her. It might as well became his favourite taste from now on. Killian's eyes slipped shut as he savoured her.

⠀⠀- Good?

Emma simply arched her back in response, she couldn't talk, she could barely breathe. Never in her life, she had be mindless like that. She took a deep breathe, holding on his hand for dear life.

⠀⠀- Yeah — fuck Killian!

Emma's carded her hands on his dark locks, holding him to her. He hips started moving slowly in sync with the movements of his tongue on her clit. It was like the sounds she was making was making him more confident, because a second her was tentative move and the next, she had a leg on his shoulder, finger holding her vagina lips opened with his fingers.

She felt his tongue move up and down her sex, looking for everything that would make her react. He moved a bit higher, closing her lips around her clit, sucking and nipping on it.

⠀⠀- Oh God, Killian. I love when you do that.

Killian sucked harder, moving his tongue faster on it. Her back arched, pushing her hips higher against his mouth, trying to get to her release faster. She wanted it to end, and find her release but she didn't want to end, ever.

Emma pushed herself on her elbows and look down, eyes locked on the way his tongue was moving against her. The sight made her wetter, she felt herself get more aroused by the seconds. which turned her on even more. She pulled on his hair, waiting for him to look up, locking their eyes.

⠀⠀- I love you, so much.

Killian moved back, took a deep breathe before replying back. His voice hoarse and full of emotions. The only sounds you could hear in the room was their panting and the sounds of lapping. She moaned at hearing the natural noises of what they were doing.

She let herself fall back, pressing her thighs on each side of his head, keeping him there. As good as it felt, it wasn't enough to get her there. She was about to say something, when Killian moved, pressing her thighs apart, she pressed a finger into her, almost immediately stretching her with a second finger.

Emma keened loudly, moaning his name, pulling on his hair. She was getting closer and closer to her climax, her body taunt and completely on fire. She needed to come. She moved her hips a bit up, looking for the perfect spot, the one he had found without any problem the first time he had tried that.

She was undulating her hips on his finger, basically fucking herself on his fingers. She was trying to get more of that, his fingers were pressing on that spot, constantly and she was getting deeper in her pleasure.

⠀⠀- That's a good girl, babe. Come for me, love.

And just like that, Emma was coming. Her teeth biting on her arm, trying to conceal her cries of pleasure. She was a quivering mess, trashing around. Killian was trying to prolong her orgasm, but she was making it difficult for him with all the trashing.

She fell back on the bed, panting. Arm throw on her face, hiding herself and trying to get herself under control. Aftershocks were running through her, making her jump every so often. She felt Killian kissed her belly, moving up and up. Goosebumps was rising on her skin again, and she smiled. Arm opening to give him space, as soon as he was above her, she pressed a kiss on his mouth, tasting herself on his tongue, making her moaned at the tangy taste that was hers.

They kissed for quite some time before Killian murmured a thank you against her skin. She giggled before turning her head and hugged him. Killian moved him around, lying on his back, taking her with him. She squirmed until she found a comfortable position against him, pressing a final kiss on his skin, just where his heart was. She fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her, completely sated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you


	8. blowjob

Emma was on her laptop, watching some tv show while Killian was reading a book next to her, always a nerd this one, an old fashioned one. He was reading his favourite book, Peter Pan, the one Liam had given him.

Her episode finished, and instead of turning off her computer like she usually would, she opened a browser page in private, not wanting anyone to find out what she was about to do. She opened Google, and before she typed anything, she looked at Killian to see him still completely focused in the story.

She typed the simplest "blow job" in the search barre and pressed enter. She kinda was scared to see the results, but she wanted to do that to Killian, she wanted to taste him the same was he had taste her a few days ago.

She was looking at some picture, grimacing at the harsh images, the crude set and story of what she was looking at. She really hoped it wasn't supposed to look like that because she was screwed otherwise.

After some quite shocking pictures later, she switched to the articles tab, and pressed to the first articles she fall upon. It was a sort of forum, and again she was disgusted by what people had written about that act, as if it was something bad or unladylike. She didn't get it, she actually was excited to do it, to make him lose control, to give her pleasure.

As much as she wanted to keep reading, and getting information on how to do it, she couldn't keep reading that kind of article. She had to find a better way to get info. She was about to type something else, when suddenly she remember a website Ruby had mentioned the other night.

She ended up on a porn website, and she was about to giggle when she remembered that Killian was still awake and most likely to look at the screen if she laughed out loud. She typed the same research in the barre, then she clicked on a pretty normal video, trying to ignore the setting of it. She just wanted to know how and what she was supposed to do.

Killian moved around, and before she could press pause or close the window, he got up, put his book back on his nightstand, kissed her lips and lay down. She closed her laptop, putting it down on the floor, and lie next to him, putting her arms around him, kissing the back of his neck.

⠀⠀- I love you, babe.

* * *

 

It was not everyday that Emma woke up before Killian, wait forget about that. It usually never happened. Killian had that weird habit of waking up with the sun, which usually ended up with him looking at her until she woke up.

She smiled, pushing herself on elbow, holding her head on her hand. She looked at him, drawing patterns on his chest, slowly as not to wake him. She knew what she wanted to do, she was just a little bit scared. Neither of them had tried it, or talked about it but she had read about people doing it and how it could increase you're energy.

She was also scared about not knowing what to do, because since they had started their check list, it was always about her pleasure, not that she didn't want to reciprocate but she had no idea how to do it, because as soon as they started something Killian would always pin her on the mattress and give her the time of her life.

She forego kissing him, or his skin because she knew he would wake up and it was not about that. She wanted him to wake up with her lips around his cock, and his tongue tracing the fat vein on it. She wanted him to please him, to make him feel as much as she usually did when he started playing with her body.

She moved under the comforter, letting her hands caress his skin. She smiled when her eyes landed on his straining coke. Morning erection was anything but a myth and Emma had never been more happy about it. It would make her job so much easier. What was even better what the fact that he was already naked, thanks to their activities of the night before.

She looked at it and tried to remember what she had read about it, and saw on those videos. She drew her finger on his erection, smiling when his cock jumped under it. She made a circle with her index finger and her thumb around his cock, moving slowly up and down, watching his body reacting to her. She was bitting her lips, seeing it with her own eyes was so empowering. She couldn't wait for him to wake up.

She closed her hand around his cock, squeezing a bit more and moving a bit faster. She was waiting for the moment he would wake up attentively. She would take him into her mouth as soon as the first sign would be there. Killian was groaning which made her smile, it meant she was doing this right.

She pressed his cock on his stomach, sticking her tongue out and licking him from base to tip, smiling at the loud groan that came from Killian. She felt him move under her. She repositioned herself on his lap, trying to keep him pinned to the bed. She didn't want him to move too much.

One of her hand moved to his balls, playing slowly with them. She knew it was a sensitive place for men, and she didn't want to hurt him. She was being careful because Killian wasn't here to guide her. She would get more adventurous as soon as he would wake up.

Killian started moaning some nonsense and she was laughing. She loved when he got speechless, or incoherent. She started moving up and down, kissing him, pressing her tongue around his tip, following her mouth with her hand. He was getting louder and louder, her eyes were on his face, looking at him.

She opened up and as soon as his hand move to grab for her, she closed her lips around his tip, sucking lightly. Killian grunted her name, eye popping open and locking with hers. She smiled around his erection, taking as much of him as she could, hollowing her cheek to suck on him. God she was getting turn on by doing this. She had to focus on him, or she would be able to make herself come.

She turned her head slightly, pushing the tip of him against her cheek, playing with it. She had read it was supposed to be enjoyable and by the noises that Killian was making it clearly was. She applied more pressure with her hands, on his balls, rolling them into her hand. She took her time, making sure not the forget any inches of him. She hummed around him, making him groaned. She loved the taste of him on her tongue, the silky skin of him rolling under her hand.

She was getting addicted to the noises, grunts he was making. Killian pushed his finger in her hand, forcing her movements up and down, to get faster and faster. Emma could feel him lose control over his arousal, he couldn't help herself.

Emma opened her throat and took as much of him into her, feeling the tip of him pressing against her throat. She forced herself not to gag around him, forcing herself to swallow around him.

⠀⠀- EMMA!

She moved back up, taking deep breathes that were really needed, before she took him back in, just the tip of him. She hollowed her cheeks, sucking hard, as hard as she could, and he shoot her name, his cum shooting in her throat. She hurried to swallow, pressing kisses to his tip. She had learn that after an orgasm, men tended to be really sensitive. She moved away and looked at him, while she was climbing back up to face him.

⠀⠀- Good morning, handsome.

⠀⠀- A very good morning, indeed.

* * *

 

Emma and Killian walked downstairs after their mini adventure. Emma couldn't stop smiling and every time she looked at Killian, a blush was on his cheek. They reached the last stair, and Emma grabbed his hand and pulled him back to her. She kissed him full on the mouth, the hand that was holding his was moving behind her, forcing him to hug her, while her free hand was moving up, around his neck.

⠀⠀- What was that for?

Emma looked up after he broke the kiss, she did try to keep the kiss going, chasing his lips as soon as he moved away but then he talked and she couldn't help herself but listen. His voice had always been one her favourite thing.

⠀⠀- Just.. I love you.

His smile grew and his eyes lit up. She loved his eyes, and the way they were changing colour depending on what he was thinking. Right now, they were the brightest blue ever. It used to be her favourite, now she couldn't decide if she liked this one better or the dark, stormy blue eyes he got not even 20 minutes ago, when she was on her knees, sucking him off.

She hugged him, placing her face in his neck, smelling him in. She wanted to keep him here with her, always. That thought used to scare her, not anymore. She wanted a life with him, a real life. She smiled and kissed the skin her lips were against when he kissed the top of her head, squeezing her against his chest.

⠀⠀- I love you too, Emma.

She broke the embrace and walked to the kitchen, getting them a cup of coffee, giving him his cup before turning around to smile at her parents. It was such a normal morning for them, a happy moment they were now used to share on a daily basis. She liked that her family was so close. She knew she used the be the key of that, but now it was clear that they all loved each other.

* * *

 

She frowned when the bell rang, because she knew they weren't expecting anyone and it was unusual. Killian walked to the door, and Emma followed him, she had a weird feeling about the whole situation.

As soon as Killian opened the door, Emma knew why she had to be there. She hurried her pace and joined Killian at the door. She didn't say anything, just walked up to Killian, her arms going around him immediately, holding him up. They didn't need any words or explanation. The soldier in front of them was enough. She heard her mom gasped, they had came up to see what was going on, and even if she knew her parents wouldn't say anything, knowing that they were mere feet away was enough for her, and hopefully for Killian too.

She pressed herself against his side, tucking her head under his chin, forcing him to lean on her, because she knew he would try to get away but she couldn't let that happen. As much as Liam was his brother, he was almost hers as well. They had all grown up together, and after all she needed her boyfriend to support her. They would get over this, together.

She wasn't listening. She couldn't listen. All she could think of was Killian and how she could support him. She felt him, actually felt him close himself to the world, enveloping her into a bone crushing hug, hiding his head in her neck. She turned in his arms, trying to get her body to face his because it would be easier to hug him properly.

She looked up and saw her mom sobbing in her dad's arms. David was trying to calm down her mother, because he needed to come to the door and take care of that, because neither Killian or herself were able to do that right now. As much as she wanted to know, she couldn't, not now. She wanted to go upstairs and restart the day.

She broke the hug, taking Killian's hand before running away in the backyard. Killian seemed completely lost, and just before following her outside, he stopped to hug her mother. Mary-Margaret squeezed him, kissed his forehead and told him something she didn't catch, but all she wanted was to get away. She was waiting for Killian to join her, before running to their spot, up in their tree. They had build some kind of house tree when they were twelve and it was still their place.

As soon as they were up, Emma pulled her boyfriend in her arms, holding on for dear life. She needed to be close, she needed to be there for him. Killian fell on his knees and she knew it would happen, so she held him during the fall, trying to make it less painful. She following him on the ground, putting herself on his laps, to hug him better. His head was on her shoulder, and she held him against her.

They didn't talk, they didn't cry, they just hugged for so long, Emma had no idea how long they had stayed there but she would not move, or leave without him. If he needed to hug her, then she'll gladly do it.

⠀⠀- I love you, Killian. I love you so much, and we will get over this, we will I promise you.

Killian just nodded against the skin of her neck, she felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, to end up on her neck. She squeezed him harder against her, trying to give him some strength. She pressed small kissed to his shoulder, his neck, his cheek. She lifted his head, pressing her thumbs in his check, holding his face before pressing a simple, long kiss to his lips.

She wanted to take all of that sadness away from him, she wanted to make him happy, but she had no idea how. She had to find a way to do that, but first they needed to found out what had happened, what was the story and what needed to be done from now on. She knew her parents had taken care of that, and they would tell them later when they would go back to the house.

⠀⠀- Baby… tell me what do you want?

Killian opened his, usually oh so blue eyes, were now bloodshot and puffy, locked with hers and he tried to talk, but what came out was a wrecking sob making him sag on himself. Emma threw her arms around his shoulder, holding him, trying to comfort him. She wanted to move them around but she had no idea what do to, but Killian did it for her.

He pulled her on his laps, crushing her to his chest, she squirmed around until her legs were around his hips, and her arms around his neck, she pressed her face in the space between shoulder and neck.

⠀⠀- I love you, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you


	9. first time

Emma had finally made Killian move on the bed that was in the tree house, helping him settle down, before joining him. Usually, she would be the one leaning on him, being the hugged one, but she wanted to be able to soothe Killian and it would be easier if she was being the one hugging him.

She pushed him away when he tried to pull her into his arms, and she pressed a finger to his lips when he tried to complain about it. She shook her head, smiled before laying on her back, pulling his head down, pillowing him on her breast, his ear right above her heart. She was using everything that normally soothe her on him. One of her hand was dancing through his hair, the other one was drawing up and down is spine, knowing how much her touch helped him keep him calm.

⠀⠀ _\- You'll be okay._

She had murmured these words in his hair, pressing a kiss at the top of his scalp, his hair tickling her nose. She smiled softly, pressing another kiss there before ducking her head, pressing her cheek on his head. Killian's body sagged against her, pressing her deeper in the mattress, she kept her hands moving, not wanted to disturb him while he was finally falling asleep. Keeping an eyes on him, she didn't allow herself to fall asleep, wanted to be here and awake if he woke up panicked. After an hour, of just looking at him, trying not to move too much, she finally let slumber take her away.

* * *

Emma was jostled awake when she felt someone trashing next to her. Not being really awake, she didn't realise what disturbed her sleep was actually Killian. When realisation set in, she sat up straight, trying to shake him awake. In a cold sweat, Killian gasped and opened his eyes, pulling himself out of his nightmare. Completely disoriented, sweaty and panting, he pushed himself away from Emma, pressing himself onto the wall, putting as much distance as he could between him and Emma. She watch disarmed. Touching him was out of the equation, it would only push him even deeper into the hole he was digging for himself.

⠀⠀- _Killian..?_  Emma lay back down, facing him. She was close enough to touch him but far enough not to scare him.  _Babe?_

Killian was looking at her face, eyes unfocused. He was still lost in the haze of his nightmare. Calling his name, just trying to get a reaction out of him. After quite some time, Killian's eyes finally locked with hers, and she offered him a small smile, pressing tentatively a hand to his cheek.

⠀⠀ _\- It's okay, babe. You're okay._

He nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breathe. She let him lead the pace of their exchange. He finally moved forward, until their foreheads met and his nose nuzzled hers. Hand sliding around her waist, under the shirt she was wearing. He suddenly pulled her closer, crushing her onto his chest, she followed his action, allowing her body to be pulled and snuggled into him.

⠀⠀ _\- I just.. I saw him die, and how crazy is that? I don't even know how he dies._

⠀⠀ _\- It's okay, you're trying to understand it, your mind it trying to fill in the blanks. We'll talk to Dad tomorrow, okay? but you need to sleep._

It took some more of soothing words from Emma, to finally convince Killian to try and sleep some more. It took even longer for him to actually fall asleep. He was constantly moving, struggling to find a comfortable position. He finally settled on them laying on their side, his face shoved onto her cleavages, arms around each others.

* * *

Mary-Margaret walked in first, trying not to make any sounds in case they were still sleeping, David following her. She stopped them when she saw how they were sleeping, Killian was completely wrapped around Emma, his face pressed against neck, arms around her waist, and no even an inch in between them. Emma seemed to be awake if the movement of her hands were to believe.

She was moving her fingers through his dark locks and her second hand was moving up and down his back, sooting him. She smiled at the picture, she could not stop herself. That was what she used to do when Emma was sad. David walked behind her, arms snaking around her and she leaned into him, her hand interlacing with his.

Their combined weight made the wood cracked which prompted Emma to look up. She smiled sadly, pressing a finger to her lips, indicating to be silent. She looked exhausted and the red rimmed around her eyes wasn't helping either. Her parents nodded, and walked closer to them, they both dropped a kiss on her forehead, before sitting on the couch in front of the younger couple.

Emma could hear her parents murmuring, probably giving her time to wake Killian up. She looked down, and she could still see the tear tracks on his cheeks, the was his eyes were puffy even when they were closed. She pressed a kiss on his forehead, shaking him slowly. She had to wake him, but she didn't want to if it was to see him cry, like yesterday.

Killian started moving around, the first think she notices was his lips, pressing against her neck which made her shiver. She tried to control her body, without any succeed. She kept kissing his forehead, and moved her hand to his cheek, caressing it, trying to roused him from sleep. She looked down to see his blue eyes looking up at her. He seemed to realise what had happened yesterday because has soon as he blinked, tears were already appearing.

She moved before he could open his mouth, aligning her body with his, pressing their forehead together, hands on his cheeks, keeping him with her.

⠀⠀ _\- It's okay, shhh, just breathe._

Blue locked with green, forehead joined, nose touching and he kissed her. Her lips stretched into an easy smile, responding to his. He still hadn't noticed her parents and she was happy to stay in their bumble for a little while longer. Her parents made some noise, resulting in them breaking their kiss. Killian blushed and scratched behind his ear, while Emma was laughing, pressing, hiding her face in his chest.

Before any of her parents could say anything, she pressed a quick peck to his lips. Turning her body, she became the little spoon to Killian's big spoon, ready to hear the whole story. Her mom was leaning on her husband, looking up at him. She squeezed her hand as if she was giving him the strength he needed to talk.

⠀⠀ _\- Killian, First of all, I want you to know we're both terribly sorry for you loss. We know how much Liam meant to you._

Killian tensed behind her, and Emma pulled his arms tighter around her, pressing it on her stomach. She was moving her fingers on his hand, keeping him with her. He pushed himself up a bit, looking at her parents, nodding once.

⠀⠀ _\- Thanks.._

He fell back down, hiding his face in her hair as if just saying that word took all the energy he had, which might me true since he didn't sleep much, and not that well. His hand was pulled up, and he felt lips pressing on his knuckles. Squeezing Emma's hand, thanking her silently.

⠀⠀ _\- I'm gonna tell you everything, but please don't ask any questions.._

David didn't wait for them to answer or move. He just looked at his wife, who nodded sadly. She pressed a rapid kiss to his cheek, choosing to stay behind while he repeated what he has already told her yesterday.

⠀⠀-  _Liam.. He died a hero.. I know it's not what you wanna hear but that's what happen. The soldier you saw yesterday, gave us tons of details that I won't give you today because it's not really relevant. I wish I didn't need to be the one telling you that, but I also feel like it has to be me. Do you remember when he was promoted Commander back in January?_  Both kids nodded, not daring saying anything. Killian was already on the verge of crying and Emma wasn't any better. She was holding on Killian's arm so hard, she thought she was hurting him but then he squeezed her hand and everything got a little bit better.  _Usually, when you become Commander, you have a group of recruits and Liam, well he was supposed to get his but then plan changed. There was these two recruits, stubborn, quite young, orphans and completely lost. The Navy was about to send them back because they had no idea how to handle them, but Liam stepped up and said he would take care of them, help them and guide them. You know how he was._ Killian broke down when David use the past tense, curling on himself, trying to push Emma away, but she turned her body around, holding him again, rocking them slowly.  _For 5 months, Liam took them under his wing, teaching them everything he knew and everything they needed to know. He also teaches them how to be a gentleman, man and most importantly, being heroes. One day, even though they weren't in War zone, they got under attack. I wasn't given any information related to that particularly but Liam and one of his recruits were stuck into a room, until Liam was able to get them out. Panic was all over their ship, nobody was prepared for what was about to happen, but Liam had to find his other recruit. The ship was mostly empty, by the time they were able to join the upper deck. That's when they fell upon their attackers. Pirates. Logan was in the middle of them, trying not to show how scared he really was, he was trying to do everything that Liam had taught him, he clearly didn't want to let his own hero down. The kid tried to walk back to Liam and his fellow officer but he didn't have time to move more that several inches before a gunshot was heard on the sinking ship. Logan and Cameron looked at each other, expecting the other to fall down, bleeding. But when non of them moved, the finally realised what had happened. Liam had sacrificed himself to save them, these two orphans. So, Killian, when I tell you that Liam died a Hero, that's because he did._

David finished his speech, tears running down his cheek. Mary-Margaret sobbing quietly against her husband, both Emma and Killian were crying openly in each other arms. Emma was still holding onto Killian, trying to get him to stay with her and not close himself but she knew she was fighting a lost battle. She moved down a bit and pressed a kiss to his cheek, about to leave him alone when Killian pushed her away, pushing her off of the bed. Gasping, shock running through her, she looked behind her to see her parents looked like they had saw aliens or something.

* * *

Emma was still on the floor, she had pushed herself back up, sitting crossed legs in front of Killian. She looked back to her parents, to see their reaction, making sure that she hadn't dreamt any of that. Killian had never even been brutal with her, or anyone for that matter. She knew it was most likely his way to mourn but still, what was wrong with him? He was still lying down, eyes closed, shaking with unrestrained rage, sadness, she didn't know, she didn't care. She pressed her hand on his shoulder, trying to get him back in the moment, to get him back to them.

⠀⠀ _\- Killian..?_

Not even two seconds later, her hand was pushed away violently. Killian was not even looking at her. If he wanted to act like that, she she wasn't going to stay and play nice with him. She pushed on her hands, standing in front of the bed, hands on her hips. She was mad, completely destroyed by the death of Liam Jones, and her asshole of a boyfriend, was pushing her away?

⠀⠀ _\- Fine! Don't come back crawling back to me when you'll want to talk, Killian Edwin Jones._

Emma ran out of the tree house, tears running down her cheeks. She couldn't believe Killian was pushing her away, now of all time. She was running as fast as she could, moving blindingly due to her tears. She was about to reach the stairs when a hand closed on her arm, halting her race. Yanking on the hand holding her, trying to free her arm. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to be alone, preferably in her bed.

⠀⠀ _\- Emma Swan!_

Emma stopped, she hadn't heard that deep, severe voice since she was a small kid acting like a brat. Arms going slack, she wasn't sure she was even blinking before she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning her around. She found herself in her father arms, blinking back tears, arms going around his torso. She pressed her face on his chest, trying to hide herself like she used to do. A Sob breaking free of her inside, when her father's hand move to her usual place, cradling the back of her head.

⠀⠀ _\- Daddy.._

Sagging against her dad, she let herself being comforted by her father for a little while, pushing away, she was still not able to look him into his eyes. Ashamed of what she's done, she wanted to move away and be alone, but she couldn't run away again. Not having any other choices, she pushed herself back together, placing a fake small smile on her lips, trying to get her dad to let her leave, without avail. Killian pointed to the living room with his chin, giving her the silent order to go there and sit, waiting for him.

He came back, holding a cup of hot chocolate for her to take, sitting down next to her. He took her hand in his, caressing her knuckles with his thumb. She knew what was coming even before her dad opened his mouth to talk.

⠀⠀ _\- Let's talk about what just happened._

Head shooting up, looking at her dad like he was crazy. He wanted her to talk about what had happened just a few minutes ago? Was her father stupid? Since when should she be the one talking about it? She hadn't done anything wrong, she wasn't the one who pushed her boyfriend of 4 years away.

⠀⠀ _\- What's there tot talk about? Killian is hurting, I get it. Do you think I'm not? Do you honestly think I'm not destroyed by his death? Liam was like my brother, he was the third man of my life, so yes i am sad, yes i want to scream and hit something but you don't see me pushing everyone away, now do you? I am not acting like a brat, and I'm still the one getting the talk._

David must not have expected her daughter to actually stood for herself, because she was not about to close her mouth, not about that. She pressed harder on the matter, saying more and more. It was like she couldn't stop defending herself for her reaction. She was not about to back off, not on that, sorry. It was her life, and if her boyfriend couldn't trust her when things got difficult, she would not put that on herself for the rest of her life.

* * *

It was as if, Emma running away, had woken Killian up. He looked up, ready to go after her, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, keeping him from moving. Looking up, his eyes locked with the same eyes as Emma, letting him know it was Mary-Margaret.

⠀⠀ _\- You need to give her time, she's not really mad. She's just shocked. You've always handled everything together, and you just pushed her away for the first time._

Killian looked down, ashamed of what he'd done. Hurting his Emma, was the last thing he's ever wanted to do. Not being able to go to her, was hurting him, almost as much as the death of his brother. Blinking back the tears that were hanging by a slim thread, he found himself being engulfed in the warmest embrace, a mother embrace. He couldn't control his reaction, and his seconds, Killian was sobbing in his mother in law. Mary-Margaret gave him the time he needed before she started talking, she had something to tell him, than no one knew but her, and Liam.

⠀⠀ _\- Liam asked me to tell you this if anything happened to him, and honestly I wished, prayed that I would never have to tell you, but I promised him I would.._ She took a deep breathe, and hugged Killian harder against her.  _Liam was proud of you, always. No matter what you can think right now, Liam was proud of the man you are becoming. He's always been proud of you, and he'll be proud of you, from above. I know it's hard to believe it, but your brother was jealous of you, because you've found yourself a second family, and that what helped him make the choice of leaving with the Navy. Because he knew you wouldn't be alone, never. And you won't ever be, I promise Killian. Even if your relationship with Emma doesn't go as planned, you'll always have me and David. We will not give up on you, you're family._

Killian was trying really hard to listen and take everything in. He never knew that him finding Emma and her family would be a major decision in his departure, or that Liam was proud of him. He felt a tiny bit of hope blossom in his heart, and he smiled. Mary-Margaret was still talking but she couldn't listen anymore, she had to find Emma and apologise and hug her, and tell her how much he loved her.

* * *

Her dad had made his point, and Emma realised how stupid she had been to run off. Suddenly, jumping up from the couch, she ran outside, ready to climb up the tree house again just to be with Killian, she had lost a friend, he had lost the last member of his family. How stupid had she been to yell at him? and leave him by himself?

She was running in the direction of the tree house. Looking up to make sure nothing was on her way, she made eye contact with the man that had her heart in his hand, she ran faster, trying to get to him sooner. They collided together in the middle of the backyard, trying not to fell off. Emma jumped up, arms around his neck, legs around his hips, she pressed her body against him. Leaning toward him, their lips kiss joined in a passionate kiss. Lost in each other, they both didn't notice her mother walking next to them, leaving them alone.

Killian broke the kiss, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, murmuring over and over again how sorry he was, how he hadn't mean to act like that and how he needed her. Shaking her head, Emma let him know it was okay, she understood his comportment. Not that she did at the moment T, but she did now. She pressed her hands on his cheeks, pushing him away before pressing their forehead together.

⠀⠀ _\- I'm the one who's sorry, babe. I am truly sorry for the way I acted.. I should have been there for you, and I'm a so very sorry._

Killian shook his head, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, he didn't want her apologises, not when she hadn't done anything wrong in the first place. Arms moving under her thighs, he held her firmer against his body, walking to the swing, sitting down. He kept Emma on his laps, hugging her.

⠀⠀ _\- I love you so much, Emma Swan, and I am sorry even if you don't want to hear it._

Looking down, smiling, she pressed a quick peck to his lips before moving on his side. Sitting next to him, pulling on his arm for it to go around her shoulder while she leaned on his chest. A smiled pulled at her lips, when she felt lips on her forehead, and a hand playing with her hair.

Closing her eyes, she pressed herself closer to him. Hand sliding around his waist, she found an opening between his sweatpants and shirt.

⠀⠀ _\- I love you, and I'm here if you need anything._

Killian was pressing kisses periodically on her forehead, humming quietly. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled on the strands, pulling her face up. He dipped his head down, kissing her slowly, thoroughly. His tongue peeked out, licking her bottom lip, asking for entrance, entrance that she gave without second thoughts. They kiss, and kiss and kiss some more, taking their time to reconnect themselves after that horrible morning.

* * *

Curled up in her bed, the pillow that was usually Killian's tucked to her chest. She was listening to her favourite playlist on her phone, the one including the saddest songs that existed out there in the music industry. She missed Killian, so much it hurt to move without him with her. she was so used to be with him, all the time. They hadn't seen each others for the past 3 days, Killian had gone back to his place, trying to sort his thoughts. They haven't really been together for the past week, just quick meetings, but she wanted to cross the street and run back back to his arms. She knew he needed time, but she also wanted to be with him. She had lost someone dear to her too, but she couldn't really complain, could she now?

Pulling her phone from under her pillow, she swiped her thumb on the screen, unlocking it. She pressed on the text icon, then on her conversation with Killian. She typed a simple red heart, trying to gauge his mood. If she only got an emoji back, she knew he wasn't ready to see her, if she got anything else, she knew she could call him, or try to organise a meeting. When her phone chirped she smiled, the first real smile, and pressed the call button.

⠀⠀ _\- Hey love._

Emma let out the breathe she has been holding in since she pressed the call button. She was so relieved, at least now she knew that he was doing ok, well maybe not okay, but at least he was coming back to her. He might not be ready to see her or be near anyone, but it was still something. She changed the direction of the conversation, asking random questions, being careful not to ask anything that could make him think of his brother.

They had started a new routine, one of them, usually Emma, would reach out for the other by sending them a silly emoji, and depending on what was his answer they would text for a while, or she would call him. Sometimes, though, he would be the one calling him, needing her to centre him, or helping him remember that he was not alone. Being away from him, was killing Emma. She was doing her best to let him lead, he needed to heal on his own terms. She couldn't force him to see anyone. It was simply hurting a bit more everyday, when she knew Killian and her dad had spend some time together in the past week. Maybe he needed to bond with his second male figure but still, Emma was his girlfriend, why didn't he want to spend time with her?

She wanted to change that. She would change it. She was in her room, listening to the same old tape, Killian had made her when they were 11 and her parents had told them how cute of a moment it had been for them back in the day. She smiled when their song came up, the one they would surely use for their first dance as husband and wife, Endlessly by Green River Ordinance.

Emma took her phone, clicking on the weather app to check when she would be able to plan her date. She wanted to make it memorable, and she needed to perfect weather for that. She smiled when her eyes landed on the sunny and slightly cloudy weather for Saturday and Sunday. She would be able to get her date planned earlier than she thought. She knew what she wanted to do, she just needed to see if his boat had still the all good before choosing to go on the water with it. She didn't want to create anymore stress. She sent a quick text to her dad, asking if he could check on the Jolly for her, and see if everything was alright. As soon as she got a positive text from his dad, she walked downstairs to talk to her mother about the whole thing. She needed to think what her mother would think of the idea.

Mary-Margaret had lost her dad when she was just a but younger that Emma and Killian were, but she was still the closest one to know what could help and what would not help Killian.

⠀⠀ _\- Hey mom, do you think it's a good idea if I take Killian on a date, on his boat?_

Nervously playing with her fingers, she was leaning on the doorway, looking exactly like the small girl who was insecure about herself. Mary-Margaret closed the gap between them, pulling her in a loving embrace. Emma closed her arms around her mom, feeling exactly like she did when Liam had told them he had to leave for the first time and her mom was trying to comfort her.

⠀⠀ _\- I don't know Emma, do you think it's a good idea?_

Murmuring against her hair, lips pressed on her skin. She felt her daughter sag against her, tightening her arms around her.

⠀⠀ _\- I think we need to be together. He needs to get out of that house, or he'll never get out. I need to help him, and that's the only thing I can think of mom._

Emma looked up to her mom, tears running on her cheek. She brushed her hands hungrily against her cheek, not wanting to cry. She cried way too much already, she didn't think she had anymore tears in her system, but it looked like she was wrong. Her mom pressed her lips on her forehead, soothing her just with her presence.

⠀⠀ _\- Then I think you should do it. As much as I know Killian, I don't know him as well as you. You've practically been attached by the hip since he arrived in the United States. If you think, deep down, that it is the right thing to do. From what he told me last me, and from what I've seen, you should do it. It would at least make him feel better and less like we're always watching his every move._

Emma smiled at her mother, before walking away. She had a date to plan, and it was a lot of work because she wanted it to be perfect. She knew how she wanted to end, but she did not know if Killian would be up for that, so she needed to make it memorable anyway.

* * *

Sending a quick text to Killian with the kind of outfit he had to wear and a time to meet her up in front of her house. When she got the thumb up emoji as an answer, she almost cried in happiness, she totally did the happy dance. She just needed to make sure everything was ready. She was not the best cook ever, so her best choice was to make easy snacks. Once everything was ready, she ran back into her room, jumping under the shower, and getting ready in the 20 minutes she had left.

She was running downstairs, putting everything she had made in the afternoon when she spotted Killian walking with easy steps. She smiled and waved at him, happiness pulling at her heart when she recalled the genuine smile he was sending her way. She jumped slightly, clapping her hands before she ran up to me, unable to stop herself. Killian was laughing, most likely at her, but she didn't care. She stopped when she was in front of him, before throwing herself at him, laughing when he grabbed her, spinning.

⠀⠀ _\- God I missed Emma._

Emma hummed as a response, face nuzzled in his neck, pressing tiny kisses there. She stayed there for a little bit before just breathing him in, she had missed him so much. She was almost tempted to cancel her plans, and just dragged him to her room and cuddle.

⠀⠀ _\- We should go, love, shouldn't we?_

They arrived at the docks. Emma had been looking at Killian's face the whole ride there, trying to read his emotions. She was so excited for their date, but she would call it off at the smallest sign of sorrow or misery. Happy to see, Killian looked like he was mostly ok with their plan, she pressed a kiss to his cheek as soon as she pulled the car to a stop.

⠀⠀ _\- It's been a while, but I thought it could be a good idea to go out on the water, but we don't have to.. It's your call, we can just go in and stay docked. I won't get mad or be disappointed, I just want to make you feel a little bit better._

Turning to face her, he smiled. Hand going to her cheek, he leaned in and kissed her slowly, just enjoying the feel of her lips on his. None of them tried to deepen the kiss, a simple sign that their time apart just made them respect the other more, and appreciate their relation even more. It proved to them, that they could simply enjoy the other without jumping them. Breaking the kiss, the got out of the car and walked to the ship, holding hands. Emma was smiling, happy to be back on their own sanctuary.

Emma went directly below deck, putting everything away if Killian decided to actually take them out on the water, she had learnt the hard way not to put anything on deck while navigating. She smiled at the memory, before walking back up, finding Killian behind the wheel, ready to take them out. Tears gathered in her eyes, the sight in front of her too much to handle. She smiled at him, staying put until they entered the free water, walking, okay practically running to him, arms going around his waist. They stayed in that position until he decided they were far away, and he lowered the anchor while Emma ran down to retrieve their snacks, and their usual blankets and pillows.

Killian came back to the main deck, watching Emma install everything for their cozy spot. He smiled, joining her, helping her with the blankets. They sit down, looking at each other, smiling shyly. Killian scratching behind his ear, Emma twirling her hair. They both felt like they were back on their first date, not knowing what to do. Laughing at them, Emma moved first, leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. She had taken the basket with her, taking everything out of it as soon as she was sitting down again.

Emma knew they would have to talk about it, but she didn't want to be the one to approach the subject, so she just made small conversation, not really minding, because at least Killian was talking to her. They both enjoyed their snack, finishing every thing pretty quickly, before he asked her if they could sit out on the deck for a little bit, which Emma agreed to.

Putting everything back together, she sit down in between Killian's stretched legs, not wanting to be away. She leaned back on his chest, while he encircled her waist with his arms. She closed her eyes, letting herself be lulled into an almost slumber until her stomach growled, making Killian laughed. She blushed because they had just finished eating, pressing her hands on her stomach trying to muffle the sounds without any success, making him laugh harder. So much that he was clutching his side while leaning on his back, looking at the stars, realising they had spend a good amount of time on deck.

She turned around, on her knees and pinched his side for laughing at her face. He yelped like a baby, trying to get away but she was sitting on his legs, keeping him still.

⠀⠀ _\- So, who's gonna laugh now?_

Before she could pinch him again or tickle him, Killian had pulled her onto his chest, pressing his lips on hers. Successfully, shutting her mouths and well her thoughts. She wanted to stay in that bubble with Killian forever, and she hoped it was the beginning of his recovery, or at least the beginning of something good. Their kiss that had started sweet and slow had turned rapidly into something lustful and passionate. Panting, Killian broke the kiss and looked at her, smiling.

⠀⠀ _\- We should probably go below deck, it's getting chilly._

* * *

Emma cleaned up everything above deck while she let Killian go bellow deck to prepare their bed. They used to sleep here quite often, but they hadn't done it lately and she had missed it. She finished putting their last pillow away, down, finding Killian in front of the desk there, shoulders down and shaking.

She walked up to him, stopping behind him, arms snaking around his waist, cheek pressed between his shoulder blades. She didn't say anything, just moved her fingers up and down his stomach, trying to get him to calm down. She couldn't see what had caused his breakdown, but whatever it was, was deep.

His breathing was all over the place, sniffling every so often and sobs were shaking his body. She pressed the length of her body on his, pressing her lips against his ear, trying to calm him down, murmuring simple thing, just to keep him focused on her.

⠀⠀ _\- I've got you, just breathe my love._

Killian nodded slowly in response, he couldn't do more than that. She kept her movement going, asking him to follow her breathing and the way she was holding herself. She was glad to see him obey without questioning anything. She was pressing kissing on the back of his neck, stopping net when she saw what he had found.

She chocked on his name, when her eyes landed on the picture he was holding. It was Liam, Killian and herself, the first day they had spent together. She knew that picture existed, she just never thought she would find it here, and now. She smiled through her tears, trying not to breakdown either. She pressed her forehead on his shoulder, closing his eyes when she felt his hands squeezed hers, comforting her without disturbing the peace he had found back.

⠀⠀ _\- I remember this day. It was our first play date, right?_

Emma had murmured these words in his shirt, after she got her breathing back. She smiled when a wave of souvenirs came back to her. She bite back a laugh, pressing her face in his back. He moved before she could register what was happening, and she find herself pressing her face on his chest instead, closing her eyes. Her body sagged against his when he started playing with her hair. She tipped her head up, looking at him with a small smile.

⠀⠀ _\- What do you need Killian?_

⠀⠀ _\- I don't know, Emma.. I… just.. make me forget, please._

His voice was breaking, and Emma did the only thing she could think off, and hugged him again. She pushed Killian on the bed, forcing him to sit down while Emma went to stand in front of him, between his thighs.

⠀⠀ _\- Oh Killian.._

She whispered, her heart breaking once again for the man in front of her. Wrapping him up in her embrace again, stroking her fingers through his hair. She was pressing kisses all over his face, forehead, cheek, eyelids, nose, jaw, ending up on his lips. She hugged him close to her heart, rocking him like a child to sooth him. When he lifted his head, his eyes were full of tears, and Emma couldn't help herself, but brush them away, pressing her forehead to his.

* * *

⠀⠀ _\- Let me help you, babe._

Nodding, Killian helped his girlfriend move him on the bed, lying down. Before she could say something, he pulled her with him, pressing his lips to hers. Their tongues tangled greedily as he press herself into him, trying to forget everything but her, them. He groaned when he finally felt like the weight that was on his shoulder lifted and disappeared. Their kisses had never felt this right to him, teeth clanging, tongues dancing he was finally seeing the end of the tunnel. Her hands were moving in his hair, trying to pull him closer and her smiled, pressing back against her, while pulling away to take a breathe. They rested their forehead to one another as they both gasped for air. Killian opened his eyes, blue locking with green. She was able to read the disappointment in his eyes but she ease his expression by giving him a playful smile.

⠀⠀ _\- Shh, I love you._

Moving her legs around his hips, sitting on his lap, she pressed her hands on his shoulder telling him without words. She smiled at him, dancing her finger on his cheek, trailing it down hid jawline and neck, curling her hands around the necklace he was wearing. She tugged on them, pulling his head up to meet hers. She brushed her lips on his, playing with his anticipation. If he needed her to make him forget, she would do her best to do so. She smiled, backing away when Killian tried to surge forward and kiss her. She took his hands in hers, moving them up to the pillow, pressing her weight on them.

⠀⠀ _\- You, just lie down, I'll take care of you._

Their eyes met again and she leaned into him, cupping his jaw with both of her hands and bring his lips back to hers. Their mouth opened for each other, letting his tongue curl around hers, pulling it back into his mouth, sucking on it. She moaned quietly, trying not to lose herself in the kiss. She was the one supposed to comfort him, not the other way around. She pulled back, hands lingering on his cheeks. She pushed herself up, away from him.

⠀⠀ _\- I love you so much._

Hands moving to his shirt, dancing her fingers over his firm stomach, his muscles shivering under her touch. She smiled, eyes still locked with his. As soon as she reached the bottom of the shirt he was wearing, she slide her hands under the material, pressing her finger in his skin pushing up and up, helping him sit to take it off.

Biting her lips, eyes roaming on the display of skin that was in front of her. God he was so handsome, she would never been able to get enough of him. Bending over, she pressed her lips to his collarbone, letting her tongue play with the bone there, running over it until Killian was moaning. His hands moved and before she could stop him, they were pressed on her hips, pulling him closer to where he seemed to need her the most. He core throbbed just thinking of what would happen if she played her cards correctly. She wanted it to happen now, she needed him to know it was okay, and it would get better as long as they were together. She just wanted to take care of him first, and since it would be their first time, it would be better if he came before.

She trailed her lips around his chest, closing her lips around his nipple, her hand flicking the other one, mimicking the motion with her tongue. His taste was intoxicating, making her go crazy, the more she got, the more she wanted. She ran her tongue up, through his chest hair, pressing a long kiss to his lips, bitting on his lip, pulling on it while breaking the kiss.

Her eyes were darker than usual, lust and love dancing in them while Killian was finally looking back as he used to a week and a half ago. She pressed another kiss to his lips before shuffling back on his leg, pressing on his shoulder to the mattress with her hands. Tongue playing on his skin, she stopped on the bone of his hip, sucking a mark there, rending him speechless and incoherent while her hands were busy unbuttoning his jeans. Before Killian was able to understand what was happening, her hand dove under his boxer brief, taking hold on his shaft, encircling it with her fingers.

She pressed her lips to his, starting to move her hand, up and down, up and down, making sure to add a wrist move each time she reached his tip, knowing how much he liked that. She felt him going slack under her, relaxing completely, finally letting his walls crumble. It was an awkward angle, but she made it work without too much difficulty. Killian was panting against on her lips, moaning and groaning incoherent things that could have been her name. Emma trailed kissed on his cheek and jaw, closing her lips around his lobe.

⠀⠀ _\- Do you want my mouth on you? Do you want to feel my tongue runs around your tip? Do you want to fuck my mouth, until you don't have any other choice but come in my mouth?_

She didn't give him a choice to verbally answer but the way his cock jumped in her hold was enough of an answer for her, and before he could do more than blinked, she was face to face with his splendid penis. Running her index above it, pressing it up and against his stomach, she scratched her nails through his chest hair, asking him to look at her.

⠀⠀ _\- Watch._

She waited a dozen of seconds before running her tongue from root to tip, making sure to look at him, making him squirmed under her. She still had her hands on his root, holding his cock to his stomach. She ran her tongue on him multiple times until Killian was begging for her to take him in and that's what she did on her next lick, closing her lips around his tip, sucking hard on it. Killian mewled, hand flying to her hair, holding her to him. He wasn't forcing her movement just keeping her there, like he was afraid she would leave, but didn't he know she was just as addicted to the act that he was? maybe even more.

She curled her hands around his hips, pressing him on the bed, trying to make him understand he had to stay immobile if he wanted her to try what she wanted to try. Their eyes locked again and he nodded, his hand falling away from her hair. She licked his shaft, flicking her tongue on the tip, licking pre-cum. She hummed at his taste, licking her lips. Once she was sure he wouldn't move, she opened her lips, taking him back in, pushing him deeper than ever before. Throat opened, she swallow around him, easing the passage for him, she felt him brush the back of her throat and Killian growled, his hot seed bathing her throat. She swallowed every last drop of it, humming around him. She sucked him clean, pressing a last kiss to his tip, before crawling back up.

⠀⠀ _\- Hi handsome._

She didn't have time to say anything else before Killian was kissing her, lips, tongues, teeth. She was trying to kiss him back, but between sucking him dry and kissing him she never had the chance to regain her breathe back. She broke the kiss to gulp some air before diving back for another kiss, or several. She was laying on him, body sprawled on his, hands in his hair. She broke the kiss again, pushing herself off of him, standing in front of the bed, before taking off her clothes. She stood there, in her matching underwear and bra, a lacy black number, smiling slightly, hoping not to look like a complete fool.

⠀⠀ _\- You are a bloody marvel, Emma Swan, do you know that?_

Her smile grew bigger, she let herself being pulled on the bed again, landing squarely on Killian. Giggling, she tried to calm herself, pressing her face in his chest, prompting Killian to laugh as well. She smiled, secretly happy to be able to make him laugh again. His hands were moving up and down her spine, causing goosebumps to run through her, feeling the fire she felt in her belly before, roared back to life. She pressed her body to his, before rolling them around, finding herself under him.

Legs wide opened, hands on his hips, she pulled him on her, giving him the permission he needed to connect their bodies so closely, the only barrier, her damp underwear. He was holding himself above her, with the help of his arms, biceps bulging out for her to admire. Fingers curled around his biceps, she smiled at him, not completely sure what she wanted to say. Her thoughts were erased as soon as she felt Killian move against her, his cock pressing right on her clit, making her whimper and pushed back up, pressing her core closer to him.

Her nails were digging in his skin, most likely hurting him but she couldn't help herself. She was feeling like her body was on fire, completely burning her. She needed more of that, she needed him inside her. Moving her hands, and pressing them against his cheek, she pulled him down, pressing their mouths together. Feeling his lips were moving against hers and it took her some time to realise he was whispering a constant train of "i love you" and her name. She smiled, opening her mouth wider and sucking his bottom lip in between hers.

⠀⠀ _\- God, Killian, you feel so good._

She had no idea what was passing her lips, but she knew it was a good thing because Killian was moving faster, pressing harder on her and she felt herself losing control of everything in her body. She was so close, but she didn't want to come like this, not that she thought she was ready to have him make love to her, but she wanted to feel him, skin to skin. She kept her hips moving for a little while longer, enjoying the sparks of electricity created by their motions.

It wasn't enough, she needed more and Killian seemed to read her thoughts. He pushed himself up and off of her, delving his hand down, pulling her underwear off, while she arched her back and took her bra off, throwing it away. She was lying in a bed, completely naked, in front of her boyfriend for the first time. She felt the urge to cover herself, but her eyes locked with his, and the way his eyes lit up like a freaking Christmas tree was enough for her to feel confident again.

Holding her hand up for him to take, she pulled him down again. Legs opening even wider to accommodate him, giving him more space to fit. Head thrown back, moaning a long sounds that could have been his name. Hands shooting to his hips, pulling him closer. She was dying inside, finally feeling him against her. Core throbbing, heart pumping and panting she was trying not to lose herself to fast. She wanted to enjoy all the sensation she was feeling right now.

⠀⠀ _\- Oh God, Killian, that feel so good._

Killian groaned at her, nuzzling his head in her neck, breathing her in. He was so close and yet so far to where he so desperately wanted to be. His thrusts were long and sharp, like he knew what her was doing instead of it being his first time. Emma knew they were playing with fire, but she couldn't make herself stop, or pausing to do anything else. Hands sliding down his back, she grabbed his ass, squeezing the globes, forcing him to pressed harder on her, making her whimper in delight. Undulating her hips with his, she felt herself became wetter and wetter by the seconds. Several hard thrusts, Emma was screaming out her first orgasm, calling out Killian's name.

She fell back on the bed, trying to get her breathing back. She could feel how Killian was still hard, just rocking against her, knowing she was most likely over-sensitive. She smiled lazily at him, locking her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

⠀⠀ _\- Don't think we're done, Mister. I want to feel you inside me._

Killian chocked on his breath, laughing awkwardly, not that he didn't want to, he had never expected Emma to be so open with her wants and needs but who was he to deny her. Lips locked in what Emma had intended to be a soft kiss turned into a battle of tongues, they both reached in different directions for the same thing it seemed when they both came back to there other, holding a silver package in their hands. Giggling at their antics, Emma let hers drop to the bed, before helping Killian with it. Killian looked down at her, asking permission because as much as he wanted to claim her as his, he would never force himself on her.

⠀⠀-  _God, just get inside me!_  Emma panted, legs sprawling wider, body shaking.  _Please, Killian._

Emma had just finished her sentence that she felt him rock into her, just the tip but she already felt like her body was splitting in two. She had no idea if she could handle more than that. Hands closing in fists around the sheet on the bed, head thrown back in a moan. Killian knew it would hurt, but he wasn't completely sure at what point it would happen, he just knew it was going to happen.

Her feet flat on the bed, she pushed her hips up, taking him a bit deeper inside her, because that wonderful, amazing idiot had to stop himself just at the point where it was hurting her. Killian moved with her, and her moved that much deeper forcing her body to stretched for him. Killian was starting to move back, when Emma hands flew to his ass, keeping him where he was. Her eyes clamped shut, she was trying to breathe through the discomfort because it was not really hurting her, it wasn't feeling good. Killian pressed his body down on her, murmuring sweet words into her skin, kissing her shoulder.

⠀⠀ _\- Emma, you feel so good._

She felt her body relax under his, letting go of her hold on his butt. She moved her hips slightly, brows pulled together in a frown while she was looking for any discomfort. She opened her green eyes, looking at the man above her, pushing her hips against him, smiling. She gave him a nod, hand moving to his cheek. He took that as a permission to rock slowly, and Emma was mewling for him. She was already approaching her peak. Back arched, head thrown back on his name, hand clutched around his neck and back, nails digging into his skin, probably scarring him. They moved together as if it was a dance they had practiced forever. Their lips touched, tongue tangling, teeth clanging together, breathless but not ready to let go of the other. Emma was flying, not feeling anything but Killian, she had no idea where her body ended and where his started. All she could think about was him, and them, and how much more she wanted.

Moving on instinct, she moved her legs up, locking them around his hips, whimpering when Killian reached deeper inside her, pressing against all of her sensitive spots. She was feeling every delicious inches of him, squeezing him with her inner muscles making him growl. She was definitely getting off with the sounds he was making, it was giddy to know it was because of her.

⠀⠀ _\- Please, tell me you're close._

Hearing Killian's voice that broken and miserable pushed Emma closer to her release. She just needed a bit more, and before she had time to think of what she was doing, her own hand slide down her own body, reaching her clit easily and flicking it. She nodded, opening her eyes to lock them with his. She wanted to see him fall over the edge, joining him in his climax. His thrusts became erratic, loosing the perfect rhythm they had. She squeezed her muscles every time he dove back in and in no time, Killian was shooting her name out loud, pushing her over the edge as well. It was as if she would never see the end of her high, joining Killian in their perfect bubble.

* * *

Telling him to settle under the blanket, she joined him right after turning off the lights off. Her head on his shoulder, an arm around his waist, Emma was breathing him in. Eyes closed, she turned her head, pressing a kiss just above his heart. She whispered a simple "i love you" against his skin, as if she was talking directly to his heart.

She wanted to stay here with him, just enjoying their moment away from everything. She moved a bit closer to him, her leg above his, pressing herself as close to him as she humanly could. She needed to be close to him, physically close, to get Killian to listen to her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breathe and.

⠀⠀ _\- Can we talk about Liam, love?_

The breathe she just took in, left her as fast as it had arrived, making her tensed rapidly before she forced herself to relax against him. She nodded her head slowly, trying not to jostle him, because she knew that if she moved to much, or looked up to him, he would close himself again and that was the last thing she wanted.

The hand that was around his waist slide up, stopping above his heart, pressing her face on it. She was hiding her own tears that way, and even if she knew he would get that she was crying, he had the choice to acknowledge it, because it was not that obvious. She felt his arms around her moved and squeezed her tighter, and a small smile stretched her lips.

⠀⠀ _\- I miss him, Em.. But it's not different from before, ya know?_

The only respond he got, was the was her hand flexed on his skin, letting him know she had heard him. He knew he was talking pretty low, but he couldn't make himself talk louder. He never thought he would have to talk about Liam like that, but he needed to.

⠀⠀ _\- I don't know how I feel, mostly I feel guilty because I don't feel differently, than before you know? because he wasn't here.. He hasn't been here for so long, that it isn't real for me now. and I hate myself for not feeling the way I should, because he's my brother._

His voice broke at the end of the word, letting her know he was very close to have another breakdown. Emma could not not do anything, she pushed herself up, using the hand that was on his chest to stay up and above him. She pressed her free hand on his cheek, brushing the tears away. She was soothing him as best as she could, without words.

⠀⠀ _\- Babe, you are allowed to feel whatever you feel. Nobody is judging you, or expecting you to feel a way or another. You deserve to be loved, and I am here to do that. I am here, with you, for everything we'll have to go through. You are not alone, never._

She dipped her head so slowly, it was like time stopped around them, giving him the choice to stop her, which he didn't. He pressed his lips against her, humming lowly from the back of his throat. She broke the kiss, her forehead pressing against his. She smiled at him, touching the tip of his nose with hers. She was looking at him, love shining in her eyes for him to see.

⠀⠀ _\- You know, Killy.. I get it, it's hard and you don't know what to do, but think of what Liam would tell you? I can try but we both know I'm not really good with words, at least as good as you and your brother. I wish I could do more, than that, but I have no idea what you need, and in these moments I would always send an email to Li, asking what I should do because as much as I know you, he knew you better than anyone. Liam was not only your brother, he was the only family member left that you had. I will do my very best to help you get better, Killian, because it's you and me. It's always gonna be you and me._

Killian blinked and Emma did not have time to do more than take a breathe before his lips were closing on hers. She pushed her hands under his head, holding him up and against her lips. She kept the kiss going, moving her lips around, tilting her head on the side, opening her lips to let his tongue join hers. A moaned broke free from her thread and Killian smiled, being her usual Killian again. If she had to kiss him to get her Killian back, then so be it, she would.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review, i like you. 
> 
> additional chapters might come up if i have inspiration lol. I still have ideas but I need to work around them. 


End file.
